3 min read

Day Two: Self Kindness Mini-Course.


Day Two: Self Kindness Mini-Course.
I thought it might be good to talk about how to feel better when you're caught in self rage rather than explain why we have self-loathing, blah, blah, blah. In many ways, it doesn't really matter WHY we have these issues. "Whys" are important. We'll talk about them tomorrow.

If you're like me and jump to the "How" of everything. This is a good lesson for you.

Let's jump right in. Self-rage is literally a loop in the brain. Your brain is a physical organ. When we are caught in a thought, our brain is looping. The more the brain loops on a thought, the more often the brain will loop on that thought.

So what can we do?

When we catch ourselves in any loop -- self rage, anger at someone or something, obsessive thoughts, whatever your particular brain does -- all we need to do is distract ourselves.

From the off, you should know it will feel better, more familiar, more comfortable, to stay in that stinking, sinking brain loop. This is why people keep using drugs, alcohol, etc.

We continue to do self harm (and yes, self rage is self harm) because it feels good, familiar, and safe, as well as awful.

Today, I'm going to teach you a technique I used to teach to psychiatrists and medical professionals. One of the psychiatrists I taught with used to say -- "This technique distracts the brain from anything it's doing. This is why it works." The truth is that no one knows why it works. Distraction? Maybe. Chinese medicine has other answers. We simply do not know enough about the body to know why this works.

We just know that it works.

Okay, look at the photo I included. Do you see that this man is touching his face? When we feel shame, we usually touch our face. This is an automatic reaction that we aren't aware that we're doing. This is where we start.

***In time of Covid-19, please wash your hands first.****

Feel self-rage? Try rubbing or tap the space under your nose. Most people feel better. This is something you can do in public (if your hands are clean).

The technique I wanted to talk about is called EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. It was invented by Gary Craig. Since his death, there's been a lot of people teaching and selling this technique.

I have personally seen people move rapidly through their issues using this technique. Sometimes, they move so fast that they terrify themselves. Be warned. I've seen it used on prison populations and cause enormous change.

The technique is easy and free. You don't need to go down the rabbit hole of expensive seminars. You can do this at home, in the bathroom, or your car. It's easy.

What is it? It involves using your finger to tap specific places on your face and torso. The idea is that stuck issues = stuck energy in the body.

I like the EFTWizard or Brad Yates , who has been posting free EFT videos on YouTube for a very long time. If you have the time or interest, poke around on his page. There's a lot there. Here's a list of my favorite videos for this issue:

Something you hate about yourself
Beating yourself up
Resistance to Loving Yourself

You need to retrain your brain.
1. A lot of people use mantras or prayers to break a brain loop.
"This too shall pass."
"I am a beloved child of God."
"I am made of star dust."
"May I be filled with Loving Kindness..." (that's the loving kindness meditation.)
"I am loved. I am safe. I am free."

2. Move your body. My only caveat is that if we're truly caught in a brain loop we may spend the entire time thinking about it. Further, there's lots of self rage in a lot of workouts.

3, Distract your mind with beauty. Have you ever noticed that people who spend a lot of time in nature then not to be so angry with themselves? Nature heals. Even just looking at beautiful pictures or paintings can work. Calm.com does a great job with this. So does Google Art and Culture (https://artsandculture.google.com/) go for a walk through Petra or any of the museums. You'll feel better.

Is there something that works for you? What's a mantra or prayer that works for you? Let me know in the comments.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about that inner-tyrant.
Hopefully, this helps.