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Day Three: Self Kindness Mini-Course


Day Three: Self Kindness Mini-Course

Today, we take a look at exactly who is the inner-tyrant living inside you. And why do we all have one, precious.

Around the age of three years old, we begin to internalize messages. Some people call this the birth of the "ego," but that's tricky because stuck up people have big egos, etc. To save confusion, I like to call this our inner-tyrant.


So think about it -- what was going on in your family life when you were three years old? Feel free to ask your parents. This one factor will give you a clue into the personality of your inner-tyrant.

You see, your inner-tyrant is three years old. It cannot cook or work or tie its shoes. It cannot go to the market, have a conversation (that makes any sense), or live the life of an adult. It's three year old.

Before we get to why or what function your inner-tyrant is serving, it's important to ask -- how do you treat a three year old?

Boundaries. Kindness. Lots of love. Focus on the emotions; ignore the words. How would you treat a three year old?

Why do we have this creature inside, precious? To keep us safe. That's it.

What does your inner-tyrant do? S/he keeps you safe. That's it.

When your inner-tyrant goes off, you have done something your inner-tyrant thinks is dangerous.

WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH AN INNER TYRANT? How would you treat a three year old?

There's a lot of words that can fill up page after page here. But honestly, it's fairly simply.

Things that work? "Okay, I hear you." "You're right this is scary." "We're okay." "Everything's okay." "Be still." You will find something else that works for you and your inner-tyrant. If you have something now, drop it into the comments.

In this time, it's important to note that narcissism and borderline personality are thought to develop due to an injury to a three year old psyche -- or the inner-tyrant.

What do you think? What works for you?