1 min read

Unforgiveness is a cancer

At the desk, 8:49 a.m.

I'm not a huge fan of press to forgive everyone. Personally, I think the work is to forgive ourselves and we have no right to judge and/or forgive another. That's their work.

Why should I forgive someone who is unrepentant and continues to be abusive? That's just dumb. They do what they do; they get to live with the consequences of their behavior. That's the natural, logical consequence of living this life.

I think it's healthy to accept that things happened to you. I think it's good to work through your strong feelings around those events. I strive to understand the place that someone's coming from when they behaved badly.

But forgiveness? I just don't think it's my job to forgive someone else for what they do. I can only work to forgive myself and let them live out their lives.

If someone asks for my forgiveness, that's a whole other story. This is gesture made to repair a relationship gone awry. I'm happy to engage in the hard work of relating.

Oprah is hot on the forgiveness topic. She's talked to a lot of experts about forgiving this person. In her current life class, she spoke with Bishop T.D. Jakes. I really liked what he said.

I thought you might too.

P.S. I'm still pretty sick - thanks for all your well wishes! :)

P.P.S.  Ok, Deepak Chopra says it better than I did in this clip: