I am not a very competitive person. I've never seen the point of it. People are people – some better, some worse, some intelligent, some not very intelligent, some beautiful, some striking, yin/yang – but people nonetheless.
One of the things I hated about the last time the US experienced this situation was that every interaction involved some kind of transaction.
The point was to always win, and you win by dominating another person.
I grew up around a lot of competitive people. For them, the point of life was to make sure that you were on top. Losing wasn't a learning experience. Instead, losing meant that you were a loser and should be dominated.
It all seemed like a waste of time to me. We are on this earth for such a short period of time. Why waste time dominating others or "proving" others are a losers? Those who need the proof aren't worth knowing, anyway.
I don't have time for gossip. I find it boring.
I don't have time for complaining about small things in life. Life is uncomfortable – that's the deal. We suffer in order to get this chance to be here on this precious planet.
We're back in a situation where the cost of shoes is dependent on whether the country where they are made will give land to the President in order to make a golf resort. Or, the country hasn't "negotiated" appropriately (given him everything he wants), and we pay more for goods.
Who gets FEMA assistance? Those who are positive in the transaction with the administration. Even then, you won't get the money or support.
Need an abortion to survive? That's only available to the wealthiest among us, the winners. You losers? Go die in the parking lot. We'll stand around ourselves "Christians," and we know that the Christ said exactly nothing about abortion.
All lives revolved around transacted drama for the cameras and news bites. Who's thin? Is your face as tight as a drum from surgical intervention? Did you use enough bronzer? Only D sized breast will do! You don't want to seem like a loser do you??
I absolutely hate it.
I've decided to stop the transacting.
I've already cleared out those folks who need me to be small in order for them to feel big. I used to find them amusing, but no more. They are out of my life and mental space.
The next transaction I've decided to target is wearing my exercise watch. It tracked my steps, my movements, my heart rate, and even my temperature. If I wear it, I get "credit" for my activities.
The watch turns swimming or yoga into a transaction. For the time I spend swimming, I get credit.
I stopped wearing it.
It's my first change. It's small and also profound.
I notice that I'm not wearing it multiple times a day.
I hear my own thoughts of "Damn it! I didn't get credit for that walk or swim or yoga."
And, who exactly was I getting credit from?
It's a small change, and something I can control.
