I've decided to make it my goal to become a trophy wife.
Here's my plan:
1. I'm growing my hair out, then I will color it blond or get highlights. (That is if I can stand the freakin' hair dresser for two full hours every month.)
2. I'm investing in an expensive push up bra and adding those silicone fake breast things. I'd look at surgery but really I don't think I'd be able to stand up straight if they were any larger.
3. I'm focusing on butt exercises at the gym (Up to two sets of 60 bridges, thank you very much.)
4. I'm wearing lip gloss.
5. I don't tell people I graduated from UC Berkeley in Biochemistry any more. I tell people I didn't go to college because I couldn't finish high school... blink... blink... look how stupid I am.... stuff like that.
6. I'm taking up shopping as a hobby.
7. I'm wearing four inch heels.
8. I've been practicing: "I don't know, hon, what do you think?"
9. I wag my hips when I walk.
10. "War? Is there a war going on?" or "President who?"
Of course, I haven't told D. He'll probably just notice on his own. He'll think: "Look my wife of ten years is such a trophy" and stuff like that.
It could happen.
We all have to have goals.
Of course he sent me this from Rhymes with Orange: