Why do some people feel the need to kick you when you're down? I've never really understood it.
The moment they know you're down, they pull their foot back to kick as hard as they possibly can. Then, they turn around and invite their friends to join in. Of course their spineless friends kick even harder just to prove their loyalty.
I bet this has happened to you. It certainly happens to me.
The crazy thing is that it doesn't seem to matter how long I've known the person or any member of the group of people. It doesn't even seem to matter how close I am to any of them, how much I trust them, or even how much life I've shared. The opportunity arrises and they kick as hard as they can.
What really gets me is that it doesn't even matter how much I've given, supported, gone out of my way for, understood, forgiven, or bent over backwards for. Some people cannot seem to resist the opportunity to kick me when I'm down.
The truth is, it happens to everyone. With social media, I believe it's happening more and more often. But the question is not does it happen.
My question is why.
Rather than wallow, I thought I'd ask my buddy Michele Woodward to see what she thought. What she had to say was so profound, I 'm splitting it up into two posts. Today, we're talking about why people kick you when you're down. Tomorrow, we'll talk about what you can do about it.
Why do people kick you when you're down?
Here's her response:
"Some people are just mean," Michele said.
Right! That's true! But I wouldn't be friends with someone who was just mean. You wouldn't either. And truly, even if they were hiding their meanness, I don't have anything to do with the cruel.
So why does it happen?
Michele: "Here's what I think happens: a person keeps a lot locked up inside. They don't know how to communicate. Maybe they're somewhat intimidated by you. Then you hit a bump in the road. Maybe you appear a little vulnerable. A little more open.
"This is the opening that some people look for - the opportunity to dump what they've been locking up inside. Know what I mean? They may not feel like it's piling on or kicking someone when they're down. In fact, they may feel relieved to get it off their chest."
I certainly have friends who don't know how to communicate. (check)
I even know they have stuff locked up inside. (check)
I guess that's how these folks get close enough to me to kick me so hard.
What can I do about it? That's the topic of tomorrow's post.
In the meantime, I'd encourage you to check out the extra awesome Michele. She is truly a gem of a human being. She's currently running an amazing coaching group for motivated people. (I'm not an affiliate, but I am a great deal afficianado.) If you're are looking for a coach, you won't find a better one than Michele. Pinky swear.
See ya tomorrow.