Electric can openers

1 min read

I have this thing about electric can openers.  They never work.  My grandfather had an avocado green and a bright yellow electric can opener.  Neither worked.  He routinely opened cans with the traditional hand held model.  Every time he opened a can, he would rant about how electric can openers were a waste of money because they never worked.  My mother, however, never actually listened to anything he said and frequently asked him to purchase her an electronic can opener.  She thought they were sophisticated.  I have numerous childhood memories of him ranting about the electronic can opener while she is acting hurt because he doesn't love her enough to give her one.  Classic dysfunctional opera.

Recently, I had a dream about a white electronic can opener (with a short white cord in case you were wondering).  In the dream, I pull this electronic can opener out of a bag and look at it wondering, "why do I have this?"  I was relating this story to our friend and board member Darryl Perry.  I couldn't help but add the "electronic can openers never work" rant that I probably learned from my grandfather.

In response, he sent me a few links.  It turns out that electronic can openers are so routinely broken that there are numerous web pages discussing how to fix them.  Bob Villa states that electronic can openers are a necessity.  I suppose the electronic can opener repair guy is also a necessity! EHow has another idea about fixing them. And this woman has moved her electronic can opener 3 times!  Poor thing.  Her husband must be an electronic can opener repair person.

Here's is my suggestion for fixing your electronic can opener:

1) Unplug the can opener.
2) Throw it in the trash.  Do not donate it to a charity because they can not afford to get it fixed!
3) Open your cans with a traditional can opener.  76 year old friend Toni suggests a Tupperware can opener if you have trouble with your hands.

Just a thought for a Friday!

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