On a Limb with Claudia

Simply Kind Tuesdays : Week 13 : Why not kindness?

I don't know about you, but somestimes I forget to be kind.

For example, I haven't been getting my mail. Not sure what to do, I waited a week then took my sanity into my own hands and telephoned my post office.

That didn't go very well.

I'd like to tell you that I was completely reasonable and they were jerks. But alas, I lost my cool.?Rather than defend my behavior, I'll tell you that when I had a breath, a moment, a second to respond, I did remember kindness.

After listening to the supervisor say that the hardworking folks at USPS were doing their best, I realized that there was no way to back out of the situation. ?

"Ok," I said.?

And in that moment, I realized that I forgot to be kind. ?

Crap.

Truth be told I really wanted to be right. ?I also didn't want to be a doormat or a push over. ?And I was deeply frustrated. (I'm expecting an important package that was mailed from California a week and a half ago.)?

Caught up in my own drama, ?I forgot about the other guy.?

Kindness is a work in process. Next time, hopefully, I'll chose kindness.

What keeps you from picking kindness sometimes?

?

Simply Kind Blogroll?

A Touch of Inspiration By the light of the Moon Confessions of a Middle-Aged Suburban Diva Kim Smith ?? Miss Riss Mom?s Musings Not a Mean Girl Popping Bubbles Remote Treechanger Storyteller Waiting 4 the news

Why?

Why not?

Happy Monday!

Dear US Postal Service,

In most states, the mail is PICKED UP and DELIVERED six days of the week. Why do you only pick up and deliver when you feel like it? Is it a mood thing? Hormones?

Or simply that you want to beat Alaska for the worst mail service in the country?

Inquisitively,

Claudia

Are you sure?

I received a list of questions for Perpst at Popping Bubbles. SHE said I agreed to be interviewed. Again.  I tried to argue but....

She's very very short.

Short people are ALWAYS up so to something. And you never know what it is.  And short people are a little scary.  

So I acquessed. 

THEN, I received questions from my buddy Ivanhoe at From Ohio with Love. Now she's not so short, but she's from the Czech republic. Having been raised in the middle of the cold war, I knew better than to cross her. 

I honestly think of myself as the most boring person on the planet. So, if you can tolerate some more nattering about myself, here goes two interviews.

Perpstu at PoppingBubbles asks:

• If you had to write your autobiography today, what would the title be? Why? Worker Bee in Search of Her Hive 
   


• Aside from the delicious honey, what attracted you to beekeeping? I love bees. I love being around them. I love to watch them interact with each other. Even when they are mad at me, they are so communicative. They buzz, move, bat, and only sting when forced to. I love that they created EVERY flowering plant. The Egyptians believed that bees were the closest thing to God. I think they were onto something.
   


• You love Pandora, even if it throws John Tesh at you on occasion, build a 10 song playlist that describes the last 6 months of your life. Why would you pick those songs? (Links are to YouTube videos)
  I hate everything about you, why do I love you? by Three Days Grace
  Behind Blue Eye by the Who/Limp Bizkit
  Forget it by Breaking Benjamin
  Fade by Staind
  Closure by Chevelle
  Away from the Sun by Three Doors Down
  When you wish upon a star by Louis Armstrong rendition
  A Change is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke (original) 
  Headstrong by Trapt
  Somewhere over the rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo Ole 


• What is your favorite memory of the last five years? Oh.... I strive to not split my life into 'good vs. bad', 'favorite vs. disliked', so I don't really know what a favorite would be.... Every moment on this planet sparkles like the hope diamond to me. Even when life is hard, I still love it here.

• I'm coming to visit you – for 24 hours – what are we going to do in that limited time frame? It would depend on where you are. Most people are so exhausted in their lives that I would probably schedule some spa treatments and rest. There's great eating here in Denver. I might take you on the Denver Cereal tour - tour to all the places in Denver Cereal. If LW came with you, then it's a whirlwind of fabulously fun activities for kids - Children's Museum, Butterfly Museum, Zoo, Natural History museum and spalsh fountain, Dinsaur Ridge....But again, it would depend on the circumstances. 
   

Ok, still with me? Here's Ivanhoe's set:

1. How did you come up with Simply Kind Tuesdays? In doing the Everyday Kindness challenge, I had a hard time writing about kindness for the blog. Kindness is a 'doing' word, not a 'thinking or writing' word. I wanted a chance to put Kindness out in front of people. I thought that talking about kindness, once a day, would help bring kindness to people's minds or at least to mine. So many people say, 'kindness is hard!' It's hard for me too. I thought if I wrote about it once  a week, included tools and experiences, maybe I could encourage other people to practice being a little more kind to each other.
    

Can you give us an update on your queen bee and her gang?

 

Sigh... I don't know. I usually don't check the hives until February since bees hybernate in the winter. From the outside, I've lost at least one hive. I expected this as we are switching from using toxic chemicals to all natural. We have to find the right mix of bee genetics and bee handling to keep them alive. I am hopeful to have at least one hive by the spring. 

Please keep them in your prayers.
 

You write books, but can you tell us what do you read/enjoy reading?

 

I love serials (Dickens), mysteries, and some edges of fantasy (Ursala Le Guin, Susan Cooper, Madeline L'Engle).  I read every Sue Grafton book out of sheer love for Kinsey Mahlone and Grafton's capacity to hold the era in her work. I also love thrillers.  

And Shakespeare. I grew up with his work as my only guide in how to behave in the world.

I used to read anything and everything. I read very quickly, so reading a book isn't a big undertaking to me. I devoired all kinds of fiction, but particularly liked series.  That said, since I've been working on the Fey series, I haven't read very much. I was relieved when Lawrence Block said that's common for writers. Now, I mostly read friend's book, blogs, and Sue Grafton once a year. ;)
 

If you won a roundtrip ticket anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? I love Paris. I would love to have an apartment there. I just like being there. I like the people, the weather (especially in early spring), and the language. I've heard that Prague is a lot 'better' than Paris, but I haven't been there. 

 

The other place I love is Northern Ireland. Genetic memory? Maybe. I love the coast, the people, and just being there. I've only found like of it in Northern California above Fort Bragg. When I need sustainance, I go to the Lost Coast of California.

What is the first thing you do when you get up in the morning?

Uh, after I pee? ;)  I make my husband's breakfast and lunch, eat, then check my email. 

~~~~~~~

I owe people interviews, so I'm not going to ask if you want to be interviewed. BUT if you do, I can add you to the list. For those of you waiting for questions? I'll get there... I'll get there... Pinky Swear.

Simply Kind Tuesdays : Week 12 : Pause

Kindness takes work. Sometimes, a lot of work. Because it's important to me to respond with kindness, I often put myself on pause.  

I bring this up today because today marks the beginning of change in my country, the United States of America. Whether you like it or not, whether you are for it or not, change is coming. In response to any change, you (and I) will find ourselves in situations where the frightened, cynical people want to tell us 'how it is'. Heck, we may even have to fight the frightened, cynical voices in our heads.

Although it's tempting, verbal violence is not kindness. 

The best way to deal with frightened people is to pause before responding. Remember that this person is frightened. They don't know how the future will unfold so they only see darkness. 

Pause.

Then respond.

Practice pausing when in conversations with friends. Make it a habit before you say, 'yes' to anything in your life. 

You'll be glad you did.

~~~~~~~

Simply Kind Blogroll 

A Touch of Inspiration
By the light of the Moon
Confessions of a Middle-Aged Suburban Diva
Kim Smith   
Miss Riss
Mom’s Musings
Not a Mean Girl
Popping Bubbles
Remote Treechanger
Storyteller
Waiting 4 the news

Smallness.

"Smallness in a great man seems smaller by its disproportion with all the rest. " --Victor Hugo

Happy Monday!

Service.

 

In this short video (1:45 min), Michelle Obama asks us to participate in a day of service as part of the Renew America Together initiative.

Ok, you know I love the sound of this! Renew America! Together! YES!!

It's not about right or wrong, black or white, conservative or liberal. It's about renewing our country through our own works.

Damn, I like the way that sounds!

Not convinced? Here's one from our soon-to-be President: (35 seconds)

I wanted to bring the day of service to your attention and also do a shout out to the people I know who volunteer their time and resources.

• The CEO at the Morning Meeting tutors his neighbor


• Perpstu at Popping Bubbles knits baby caps for infants worldwide.

If you are of service, let me know so we can applaud your efforts. Leave leave your service in the comments and I'll add you to this post. Have plans for this national day of service, January 19, 2009? Leave it in the comments and I'll add you here too.

Together, we can create the world we have been looking for.

Simply Kind Tuesdays : Week 11 : Clean eating.

It started last January, really. I heard Dax Moy talk about going on a detox diet. Basically, your body is a powerful detoxifier. Stop eating process food - anything with more than 5 ingredients - and you'll feel better. I knew what he was saying made sense.

But man, it was hard.

Over the course of the year, we kept coming back to the diet.

• We learned that D. was allergic to wheat. I learned that wheat makes me listless.


• We learned that alcohol is not our friend.

We went from eating everything to defining ourselves as "whole fooders".  And still we like our junk on occassion. Wheat and alcohol, our new found nemesis, are hard to give up in a modern life.

This year, as a kindness to ourselves, we've returned to Dax's Elimination Diet.

And the diet doesn't feel so extreme this year.  At the risk of sounding like a complete freak, eating whole, real, unprocessed foods feels like being kind to my precious body. My body wants whole, real food.  

I am kind to myself by eating vegetables, fresh fruit and lean protein. 

I am cruel to myself when I eat 'whatever I can find', fast food, and alcohol.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to give up caffeine this month. By the end of the year, I aspire to be caffeine free and comfortable.  

We'll see.

So I invite you to try a little body kindness. There's nothing complicated about it. You just eat food, real food. Even the diet's free.

Simply Kind Blogroll

 

A Touch of Inspiration By the light of the Moon Confessions of a Middle-Aged Suburban Diva Kim Smith    Miss Riss Mom’s Musings Not a Mean Girl Popping Bubbles Remote Treechanger Storyteller Waiting 4 the news

You.

 

"You are the only person on earth who can use your abilities." --Zig Zigler 

Happy Monday!

I said I'd what? Really?

So, N over at Fear and Parenting emailed to tell me that I had agreed to be interviewed by her.

I did?

My state of shock and horror was only enhanced by her copy of my comment on her blog post. Dayum, I need to pay more attention when I'm commenting.... Sigh....

I am a person of my word. So, if you can stand to learn a bit about me, here's our interview.

N at Fear and Parenting: 1. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I started my blog in 2004 (I think) when blogs were first coming out. We were looking for better ways to interact with people at the Open Grove. We'd had a forum for a long time, but it became fraught with spam and stupidity. We thought that a blog might be the ticket.

I originally blogged on MoveableType, then shifted to something else. I shifted to Wordpress on the recommendation of the tech support at LunarPages (my hosting service). Wordpress was about a year old. 

Over time, the blog has grown in a variety of ways. I've never been very comfortable talking about myself, so Claudia rants are rare.

Well, Ok, they are rare in life too.

I try to support, interact and inspire, myself first, but others as well. This blog has drawn such a tremendous community. I've met so many amazing, talented and silly people. I am deeply grateful every day for the blog, the people and most particularly the capapcity to meet and greet like minds.

N at Fear and Parenting: 2. Every week you list your unconscious mutterings meme. What has to be most disturbing response you've received to that weekly post? (Please tell me it's not one of mine!)

I don't think I've ever had a disturbing response. My buddy Van at FuriousBall always puts something in that's a little off. He does that on purpose to wave 'hello'. Or at least that's what I tell myself. Truth told? I leave pretty random things on his blog. Like he has this fascination with Brazillian models and.... Nevermind.

Mostly, I love the way the mutterings reflect the places people are in their lives. So many people are growing, striving and achieving. I love being able to see their process in one post. 

I just love mutterings! :)

N at Fear and Parenting: 3. You've got to be one of the most genuinely nice people I've ever met - a true and rare breed to be sure. But no one can be THAT good. What's the most un-nice thing you've ever done?

Boy. I have thought a lot about this question. I don't think of myself as a 'most genuinely nice person'.

I had a really tough growing up. I had it bad at home and was the bottom, smelly kid of my elementary school. Just to give you and idea. The one elementary school friend I thought I had told me at my father's funeral that she used to make cruel jokes about  me behind my back. She feels bad about it - because it was extreme and I was always her good friend. But, as she said, 'you know how kids can be'. (For the record, I don't really know 'how kids can be'. I think some kids and people suck.)

I am so grateful for these experiences. I learned at a very early age how fragile a heart can be. I learned how one comment can destroy a person.

Since that time, I've made a lot of mistakes. Usually, my mistakes revolve around speaking about something that's so obviously true to me, but not true to someone else. 

I've hurt a lot of people's feelings over the years. I don't think I can pick one moment as an un-nice thing. I know that it's happened. I've learned that hearts break and heal very very slowly.

Online, I try to think about the other person. What might they read here? What might they think?

I don't mind apologizing because I know how difficult it is to communicate - to be heard and to understand.

N at Fear and Parenting: 4. You're one of the few online friends who've met me in person. Was there anything about meeting me that surprised you?

I was surprised at how much we had in common.  Simply put: your husband wants chickens (as is my life long dream) and you don't want them (as is my husband's life long goal). I am humbled and awed at this simple similarity. 

N at Fear and Parenting: 5. You've been on the hunt to find the secret to happiness for quite some time. What will you do once you've found the goose who lays the golden egg?

I think I've been trying to find out why, given the exact same circumstances, some people are happy and other people are not. It's a fascinating to me, really.

I can't imagine ever staying unhappy. I can't imagine any reason to do that. But people do it. 

If you ask them, they'll tell you that they have to. (shrugging) Yeah, I don't get it.

That said, I'm confident in the decades of happiness research collected at the World Database of Happiness. Happiness is pretty simple. 

• Know what you want.


• Believe you can get what you want


• And have the capacity (health, mostly) to work toward what you want.

That's about it.

The tough part is knowing what you want. ;)

Want to be part of the fun!?! I know you do! Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.