Please come to Denver...

You've heard the song.

"Please come to Denver with the snowfall We'll move up into the mountains so far that we can't be found Throw 'I love you' echoes down the canyon And then lie awake at night 'til they come back around Please come to Denver"

--Dave Loggins, "Please come to Boston"

There are a few more reasons to come to Denver. In preparation for the Democratic Convention in Denver, let's review some of the latest Denver facts.

Denver is the most lustful city in the United States (Forbes). This finding is based on over the counter condom and contraceptive purchases. Of course, that could easily mean that since Denver was one of three major AIDS transmission centers in the United States, people are careful. But more likely, people hate going to the doctor. (See #3)

Denver is the drunkest city in the US (Men's Health). My pride over our drunkenness has only increased since I first reported this finding.

And of course, Denver is one of the most unfriendly cities in the US (Oh, you name it). This is so regularly reported that I don't have a link. One year, Miami was number 1 but Denver was 2. I'm certain our competitive spirit will kick in this year and we'll be back on top....

We have lust.

We have booze.

But we sure a shit aren't going to be your friend.

You can see why it's the perfect place for the Democratic Convention this year....

Comments

[TWM]

We have no need for alcohol in Detroit, we have crack for the poor and Heroin for the young suburbanites brave enough to come and get it. As to lust our Arabic middle class merchants will fuck you out of every penny, in their friendly acerbic heavily accented speech. "no youcannnnnott slide for .10 cents Joe. No money no beer. Yes I will sell you a single (cigarette) that will be 75 cents.

Oy what the Dems are missing in Motown.

I do so love the cynical this morning.

Grinning Peace OG

mark

[Mr. Fabulous]

So...the city is filled with drunken nyphomaniacs who will gladly treat me like the little bitch that I am?

Consulting Mapquest...

[kelly]

hahahaha! i was laughing out loud reading this at work.

Sorry... don't be offended that I visited you early! :-) I'm trying to change my bad bloglines ways. :-) haha

[Ian Thomas Healy]

Well, I'll admit to the lustfulness, but I don't drink and I'll be your friend, you gotta problem with that? ;)

Ian

[Jamie]

Sounds like it's a TON of fun there in Denver with all that Lust, Alcohol and unfriendliness!

Jamie

[Jill]

Lol! Sounds like my kinda place! I kid, I kid.

[tommie]

That is hilarious. I don't know if we will be traveling west any time soon. But I will sure look you up if we do!

[Open Grove Claudia]

TWMark - I saw that Detroit was the most murderous. Amazing that it won out over Richmond, VA. Congratulations!

Fabbie - Yep - sadly, the nymphs are mostly male. Maybe you could swing?

Kelly - Cool - nothing like a good laugh to start the day.

Ian Thomas Healy - I'm waaayyy to unfriendly and drunken for an offer like that! ;)

Jamie - Yes, also a high concentration of single, college educated men - who own dogs. Interested?

Jill - Yeah, what happens in Denver, stays in Denver.

Tommie - Think "Fort Carson" or maybe they need some help at "Buckley" or maybe "Cheyenne Mtn".... Then you'll be here! :) I do hope you look me up if you come - we'll have fun.

[Janet]

damn, that 'tini looks GOOD!!!

[Dr. John]

Well Denver sounds like the right place for all political conventions. It has what every politician needs. People who don't care but still have a good time.

[julia]

LOL, Dr. John!

[jennie]

and...we've got Biker Jim's dogs to go along with all the debauchery.

[Open Grove Claudia]

Janet - It does... Shall we?

Dr. John - Yes, sex, booze, and apathy all balled into one! They'll have a good time.

Julia - He is funny.

Jennie - Dude, Steve's snapping dogs for me! ;)

[Michael C]

Doesn't it also go something like: 'please come to LA to live forever??'
;-)

[awareness]

so, the inebriated lust is nasty and rude?

[TWM]

We have always been good at that murder thing. No news there that we top the list AGAIN. It does though teach one to quickly see what appears before the eye and what rules of conduct come into play. ; P

Peace

TWM

[Open Grove Claudia]

Michael C - Yes, yes....

Awareness - I know, like THAT'S news.

TWM - Richmond was the capital until they introduced the "Use a gun go to prison for 5 years" law. It's worked wonders.

[lone grey squirrel]

I was in Denver for just a couple of days and I did find the city a bit rough and the people a bit aloof but when I took the trouble to get to know a couple of them, they turned out to be some of the most generous persons I met in the USA.