When I was a child, surrounded by the schizophrenics that made up my family, I read this book that was totally foreign to me. I don’t know where the book came from. I will tell you my crazy mother thought it was ‘stupid’ and threw it out. In the book, I saw a way of living that made perfect sense to me.

A woman made a pie and gave it to a man. When he tried to repay her, she said, “Just do something nice for someone else.”

Throughout the children’s book, we watch one person after another doing small kindnesses for each other until at the very end of the book, someone brings the woman a pie. In the middle of the chaos and insanity that was my life, this idea – give a kindness, request other people give to others, and eventually you will get it back – made great sense to me.

What I didn’t know is that doing an act of kindness feels good. By doing kind things for other beings, you get to live in the wonderful feeling of kind giving. And that’s a pretty great place to live.

This video is a great example of exactly what I am talking about:

I never found the book nor do I know who wrote it. It was a small act of kindness that was given to me. I try to repay it through the conversation about kindness here on the blog.

The wisdom of the fortune cookie cannot be over looked.

The biggest problem with kindness is that you never really know what effect it had.

This is the same problem with ‘paying it forward.’ You never know if someone did their three acts of paying it forward. You just never know.

In a world that is so over focused on microwave moments and instant results, it’s nearly impossible to convince someone they benefit from a life of kindness. What’s the benefit to me?

The benefit of doing an act of kindness is like the benefit of eating a healthy meal. You feel good, great even sometimes. This small tickling in the bottom of your heart can grow to a gentle wind which blows through your entire life.

However, just like eating a healthy meal, the amazing way you feel after eating great whole food cannot compare to the addictive buzz of a high calorie, high fat, high salt fast food extravaganza.  And kindness cannot compare to the buzz of celebrity gossip, reality television or the plump attraction of too much silicone in a woman’s body.

So why bother with kindness? I mean really. Why bother?

Reality television brawls are more entertaining, draws more attention, makes more money than any of this kindness crap. Why not give it up?

I think we each have to find our own reasons to be kind. For me, kindness is a part of my basic nature. Sure, growing up around schizophrenics, I learned pretty easily how one word could engender violence, rage, and disaster. But, honestly, kindness was always a part of my basic nature. Even as a young child, I couldn’t comprehend school playground politics and cruelty. And, when push came to shove, when I wanted so badly to repay a life of cruelty and abuse, I could only be kind to my father in the last days of his life.

Last year, at the behest and coaching of a mentor, I spent the year focused on ‘What’s in it for me?‘ I only did things that I thought would generate the highest benefit. In his logic, why bother spending energy on things that won’t guarantee your success?

Why bother. So I let go of simple things – like these Simply Kind Tuesdays, my big veggie gardens and people who didn’t ‘pay off’.

I have never been more overwhelmed, insecure, and unbalanced as I was last year. I honestly believe that breaking my ankle in November was a wake up call. It was time to stop all this nonsense and return to my usual self.

And my usual self is kind. It’s just who I am.

Maybe it won’t pay off for me.

And just maybe, living a kind life is payment enough.

Why do you bother with kindness?

There aren’t words for this type of kindness.

Pure. Raw. Simple. Kindness. From a ruthless predator for no real reason.

“And then I think she realized that I was this useless predator in her ocean probably going to starve to death…”

I challenge each of us to show pure, raw, simple kindness today. Because more than any time in my lifetime, the world, my world, your world, needs our kindness.

“To give,” says Narayanan Krishnan.

Mr. Krishnan is of the Brahmin caste in India. They are the upper class in Indian society. As such, a Brahmin is not supposed to acknowledge, touch, or interact with people of a lesser caste.

And somehow, with centuries of culture weighing on his shoulders, Mr. Krishan feeds and nurtures the hungry.

This is a short, poignant, 2:25 minute video where Mr. Krishnan discusses how he uses his life.

What is the purpose of your life?

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”
–Albert Schweitzer

Happy Monday!

It’s funny, I don’t know how to start this blog post. Please bear with me. I have no talent for talking or writing about myself.

I’ve spent the last ten days digging through Open Grove boxes, folders and files from our garage. Because our garage leaks, the papers are wet, molded and, when they get warm, have bugs and larvae in them. This has been a disgusting task.

When I moved out of my gorgeous office in October 2005, we packaged everything up and boxes. Because the weather was iffy, we stuffed the boxes in the garage and left them alone. That’s right. For the last four years, these boxes have been out of sight and out of mind.

The boxes returned to mind when the IRS began sending letters.

It turns out that the Non-profit rulings have changed. I should have known that or noticed that or….

When I spoke with the IRS, they were fairly confident that very few people knew the ruling had changed. I called the IRS three times. Each time spoke with a kind, helpful person who seemed as befuddled about the change as I am.

Regardless, because of the change in ruling, I’ve had to take the way back machine and produce financial information for 2002 through 2007.

Thank God those boxes were out of mind in the garage. If I had been more on top of things, I would have gotten rid of those papers years ago. After all, under the old ruling, I didn’t need them. I would never have needed them.

This week I needed every record, every note, every financial document – bugs and all.

I have a lot of judgement about that time in my life. The list of shoulds starts with ‘I never should have filed for a trademark’ and ends with a thought or judgement about every single activity.

It’s been a rough ten days.

Until I realized that what I feel is a kind of grief. I’ve been trying to control how the Open Grove transformed. With my cruel judgments over the detritus of yesteryear, I make damned sure I’m ‘more careful’ today.

I don’t know what will become of the Open Grove’s IRS drama.

Today, I’m going to let go and let whatever happens happen. In letting go, I’m going to also let go of my long list of shoulds. We did our best with the Open Grove. What more can anyone expect?

Is there a ‘should’ you need to let go of? A judgement that doesn’t fit the facts? If so, I hope you’ll give yourself the luxury of letting go.

Have you heard of the No Impact Project? The idea is to join No Impact Man (yes, that’s what he wants to be called) for a week. In this week, you will learn to use less, buy less, and hopefully start walking, riding or public transporting to your work.  The No Impact website has a How to Guide to help you walk through a week.

We do most of his suggestions in our house. It’s been a gradual march over the last eight or nine years. Sometimes we are more invested in things like “one light on at night” and other times we forget. Most summers, we eat almost exclusively from our garden. And sometimes we drive for miles just to have a fantastic Mediterranean meal.

Overall, it’s a fairly easy lifestyle to maintain. Our neighbors think our beehives, large vegetable gardens and low water front yard is ‘strange’ but we don’t pay their water bill either. The Joneses yard is perfect and our is not. I can live with that.

How does low impact relate to kindness? Letting go of the cultural press for “MORE” is one of the greatest kindnesses you can give yourself. Get off the treadmill of purchase to garbage. Give yourself the gift of whole, real food prepared simply.

If only for a week, go no impact. You’ll feel better for it and the world will rejoice in your kindness.

Recently, my friend Pea (you may know her from Unconscious Mutterings) replaced her bumper. Replacing her bumper led to replacing her bumper stickers.

Now, I have a fascination with bumper stickers.  Like my fascination with tattoos, I’ve never had a bumper sticker. So I asked her, “What are your bumper stickers?”

She told me that this bumper sticker had adorned the last three bumpers she owned. Fascinated, I asked why?

“It is still the traditional greeting among the Masai, acknowledging the high value that the Masai always place on their children’s well-being. Even warriors with no children of their own would always give the traditional answer, “All the children are well.” Meaning, of course, that peace and safety prevail, that the priorities of protecting the young, the powerless, are in place. That Masai society has not forgotten its reason for being, its proper functions and responsibilities. “All the children are well” means that life is good. It means that the daily struggles for existence do not preclude proper caring for their young. “

Here’s a link to her explanation of the bumper sticker.

This week, I am going to hold this in my heart. The welfare of every child is my priority.

It’s a simple reality, a simple kindness, to acknowledge that the fate of us all rests in the well-being of all children.

This two minute video shares an interesting idea. What if you used a card to indicate that you had just given someone an anonymous act of kindness? These cute cards encourage that person to, in turn, do something nice for someone else. You could start a revolution in your own home town.

Unfortunately, they will only ship within Australia, but luckily there are a number of websites where you can print your own cards.

• Here you can print kindness quotes onto stickers which you can add to the backs of your letters or cards. You never know what might happen.
• On the One Act of Kindness site, you are able to print ‘One Act of Kindness’ Cards. These cards encourage reciprocity as well and a connection to the site.
• Chris Dumure designed these beautiful acts of kindness cards. They are available for you to print out at The Gift of Kindness site has posters and cards you can print out and use.

I’m not sure I would ever use a kindness card.  While I get the benefit of encouraging people to continue the kindness, it feels a little artificial to me. What about you? Would you add a card with your kind act?

Check out other simply kind posts: Remote Treechanger