When I was a child, surrounded by the schizophrenics that made up my family, I read this book that was totally foreign to me. I don’t know where the book came from. I will tell you my crazy mother thought it was ‘stupid’ and threw it out. In the book, I saw a way of living that made perfect sense to me.

A woman made a pie and gave it to a man. When he tried to repay her, she said, “Just do something nice for someone else.”

Throughout the children’s book, we watch one person after another doing small kindnesses for each other until at the very end of the book, someone brings the woman a pie. In the middle of the chaos and insanity that was my life, this idea – give a kindness, request other people give to others, and eventually you will get it back – made great sense to me.

What I didn’t know is that doing an act of kindness feels good. By doing kind things for other beings, you get to live in the wonderful feeling of kind giving. And that’s a pretty great place to live.

This video is a great example of exactly what I am talking about:

I never found the book nor do I know who wrote it. It was a small act of kindness that was given to me. I try to repay it through the conversation about kindness here on the blog.

After an interaction with a begging child, garment maker and importer, 28 year old Kuku Arora meditated on how it was tolerated that his child would grow up in privilege and so many others were forced into a lifetime of begging.  He and his wife decided to do something about it.

Yes, it was hard.

Yes, many times he decided to quit.

And he’s been able to help 150 children. He provides meals, clothing and a place for the children to bathe. This is their entry to the world. Most of the children are now in school. Many of them have grown up, moved on, and dream of helping others.

All because of a meal, clothing, a place to bathe and a man who cared.

What can you do?

Kuku Arora has a website where you can learn more about him and his project – Sunshineproject-delhi.org 

The wisdom of the fortune cookie cannot be over looked.

I don’t really care if people caused global climate change or if it’s a ‘natural phenomena’. The entire debate is stupid.

We are thoughtful, sentient beings capable of controlling our behavior. If we can reduce catastrophic global climate change, why wouldn’t we??

Tomorrow is the beginning of lent. As most of you know, my family was kicked out of the Catholic Church – and yet we still celebrated lent. I find lent to be a fabulous time to give up what is most toxic for me. I’ve given up people who don’t appreciate me. I’ve given up things that injure or hurt me. I’ve also given up alcohol, meat, candy or whatever.

This year, I’m going to attempt to give up Carbon.

Ok, I don’t know what that means either. But the folks at 350.org seem to have an idea. I’ve signed up for the Ecumenical Carbon Fast.

This is how they describe it: “Beginning Ash Wednesday and throughout Lent, participants will receive a daily email with the day’s suggested carbon-reducing activity.  When possible, this will include a quantitative measure of the carbon reduction resulting from the activity.”

You can sign up for it here.

Listen, the carbon fast might be stupid, but just thinking about giving up carbon is a lot better for the world than giving up chocolate.

Plus, I hate chocolate.

Will you join me? I’ll share what I learn as I go along.

The biggest problem with kindness is that you never really know what effect it had.

This is the same problem with ‘paying it forward.’ You never know if someone did their three acts of paying it forward. You just never know.

In a world that is so over focused on microwave moments and instant results, it’s nearly impossible to convince someone they benefit from a life of kindness. What’s the benefit to me?

The benefit of doing an act of kindness is like the benefit of eating a healthy meal. You feel good, great even sometimes. This small tickling in the bottom of your heart can grow to a gentle wind which blows through your entire life.

However, just like eating a healthy meal, the amazing way you feel after eating great whole food cannot compare to the addictive buzz of a high calorie, high fat, high salt fast food extravaganza.  And kindness cannot compare to the buzz of celebrity gossip, reality television or the plump attraction of too much silicone in a woman’s body.

So why bother with kindness? I mean really. Why bother?

Reality television brawls are more entertaining, draws more attention, makes more money than any of this kindness crap. Why not give it up?

I think we each have to find our own reasons to be kind. For me, kindness is a part of my basic nature. Sure, growing up around schizophrenics, I learned pretty easily how one word could engender violence, rage, and disaster. But, honestly, kindness was always a part of my basic nature. Even as a young child, I couldn’t comprehend school playground politics and cruelty. And, when push came to shove, when I wanted so badly to repay a life of cruelty and abuse, I could only be kind to my father in the last days of his life.

Last year, at the behest and coaching of a mentor, I spent the year focused on ‘What’s in it for me?‘ I only did things that I thought would generate the highest benefit. In his logic, why bother spending energy on things that won’t guarantee your success?

Why bother. So I let go of simple things – like these Simply Kind Tuesdays, my big veggie gardens and people who didn’t ‘pay off’.

I have never been more overwhelmed, insecure, and unbalanced as I was last year. I honestly believe that breaking my ankle in November was a wake up call. It was time to stop all this nonsense and return to my usual self.

And my usual self is kind. It’s just who I am.

Maybe it won’t pay off for me.

And just maybe, living a kind life is payment enough.

Why do you bother with kindness?

There aren’t words for this type of kindness.

Pure. Raw. Simple. Kindness. From a ruthless predator for no real reason.

“And then I think she realized that I was this useless predator in her ocean probably going to starve to death…”

I challenge each of us to show pure, raw, simple kindness today. Because more than any time in my lifetime, the world, my world, your world, needs our kindness.

I’ve been missing from this blog.

I’ve been missing from this blog for a while.

I feel like I need to explain, apologize, beat my chest, and lay prostrate. But I don’t really have anything to say.

I’ve been really overwhelmed. I don’t think I realized how overwhelmed I’ve been until I broke my ankle in December. Yeah. I broke my ankle and tore ligaments in my foot about a week after I got over a month of being sick.

Yes, sick.

And I don’t get sick. I was prescribed antibiotics for the first time in over twenty years. I was sick all of November. Broke my ankle in December. Just ready to get going and I slipped on the ice and fell.

Let’s face it. It’s been an interesting time.

In the meantime, I’ve kept up with the wild and wooley Denver Cereal, published Cascade - Denver Cereal Volume 3,  and published Who I Am, the third Alex the Fey thriller. I guess there’s something to be said about not being able to get around. lol!

I’m hoping to revive Simply Kind Tuesdays. It seems like the world could use a little kindness right now. And…

Hopefully, I’m back to basics, back to the blog.

I look forward to seeing what you’ve been up to in the meantime.

“To give,” says Narayanan Krishnan.

Mr. Krishnan is of the Brahmin caste in India. They are the upper class in Indian society. As such, a Brahmin is not supposed to acknowledge, touch, or interact with people of a lesser caste.

And somehow, with centuries of culture weighing on his shoulders, Mr. Krishan feeds and nurtures the hungry.

This is a short, poignant, 2:25 minute video where Mr. Krishnan discusses how he uses his life.

What is the purpose of your life?

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – H. H. Dalai Lama

It’s been a year since I gave myself the challenge of writing about kindness once a week. Over the course of the year, other bloggers (Karin at Popping Bubbles, Remote Treehugger and others) have joined in. The meme has been featured on special sites and reviewed by a variety of people. In the end, the challenge I started for myself ends with myself.

Over the course of the year, I’ve learned a tremendous amount about kindness. Here are a few thoughts:

• Kindness is an action, not a thought.
• Being kind takes work.
• Our culture supports brash, rude behavior; kindness is the antidote.
• Everyone, at every moment, is doing the very best they can.
• People want to be kind. When they aren’t, it’s usually because their focus has narrowed on some anxiety or problem.

More than anything, I’ve learned that kindness is always a choice – kindness is always possible.

I haven’t decided if I will continue this challenge or do something else. I will let you know next week. I have learned a tremendous amount over the last two years.

Thank you for coming along with me on this journey.

It’s funny, I don’t know how to start this blog post. Please bear with me. I have no talent for talking or writing about myself.

I’ve spent the last ten days digging through Open Grove boxes, folders and files from our garage. Because our garage leaks, the papers are wet, molded and, when they get warm, have bugs and larvae in them. This has been a disgusting task.

When I moved out of my gorgeous office in October 2005, we packaged everything up and boxes. Because the weather was iffy, we stuffed the boxes in the garage and left them alone. That’s right. For the last four years, these boxes have been out of sight and out of mind.

The boxes returned to mind when the IRS began sending letters.

It turns out that the Non-profit rulings have changed. I should have known that or noticed that or….

When I spoke with the IRS, they were fairly confident that very few people knew the ruling had changed. I called the IRS three times. Each time spoke with a kind, helpful person who seemed as befuddled about the change as I am.

Regardless, because of the change in ruling, I’ve had to take the way back machine and produce financial information for 2002 through 2007.

Thank God those boxes were out of mind in the garage. If I had been more on top of things, I would have gotten rid of those papers years ago. After all, under the old ruling, I didn’t need them. I would never have needed them.

This week I needed every record, every note, every financial document – bugs and all.

I have a lot of judgement about that time in my life. The list of shoulds starts with ‘I never should have filed for a trademark’ and ends with a thought or judgement about every single activity.

It’s been a rough ten days.

Until I realized that what I feel is a kind of grief. I’ve been trying to control how the Open Grove transformed. With my cruel judgments over the detritus of yesteryear, I make damned sure I’m ‘more careful’ today.

I don’t know what will become of the Open Grove’s IRS drama.

Today, I’m going to let go and let whatever happens happen. In letting go, I’m going to also let go of my long list of shoulds. We did our best with the Open Grove. What more can anyone expect?

Is there a ‘should’ you need to let go of? A judgement that doesn’t fit the facts? If so, I hope you’ll give yourself the luxury of letting go.