Comments on: About Claudia (part five) Facts turned bullshit http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 01:49:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Court http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8832 Court Sat, 11 Jul 2009 22:01:59 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8832 I think I understand the parking lot thing. People act like there are no rules and drive however the heck they want. Like it's Mexico or something. I think I understand the parking lot thing. People act like there are no rules and drive however the heck they want. Like it’s Mexico or something.

]]> By: Julia Smith http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8831 Julia Smith Fri, 10 Jul 2009 03:20:40 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8831 'Why do married women not wear underwear to bed? When I asked my newly minted husband, he said "because most accidents happen in parking lots." ’ - LOL!! But seriously, Claudia, thanks for sharing this part of your growing up years with us. I have a friend who always exhibited paranoia and a highly eccentric personality, but she fell into a deep funk this past Christmas, never got out of it, and went slowly mad in front of my eyes. SO disturbing - yet she was not my mother, and I was an adult when this happened. ‘Why do married women not wear underwear to bed? When I asked my newly minted husband, he said “because most accidents happen in parking lots.” ’ – LOL!!

But seriously, Claudia, thanks for sharing this part of your growing up years with us. I have a friend who always exhibited paranoia and a highly eccentric personality, but she fell into a deep funk this past Christmas, never got out of it, and went slowly mad in front of my eyes. SO disturbing – yet she was not my mother, and I was an adult when this happened.

]]> By: perpstu http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8830 perpstu Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:06:01 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8830 After reading this post it is absolutely clear to me that you and I are sisters. You and Cartman were OBVIOUSLY switched at birth (and maybe by afew years.) He would fit in with your family perfectly. He and your sister could write a new set of encyclopedias filled with facts that they and only they know about. ;) After reading this post it is absolutely clear to me that you and I are sisters. You and Cartman were OBVIOUSLY switched at birth (and maybe by afew years.) He would fit in with your family perfectly. He and your sister could write a new set of encyclopedias filled with facts that they and only they know about. ;)

]]> By: The CEO http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8829 The CEO Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:03:26 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8829 Sheet dude, I got my diabetes and high blood pressure from arguing with my parents. I should use a different term besides arguing, because you'd have thought I would be allowed to say something in an argument. Nope, hence diabetes and high blood pressure, although I refuse to catch ancer from them while they were alive. Naturally, they argued about a lot. And about that not eating thing, why did I take so many girls to eat, and they always ate. I took several of them out a lot more than once, and food was always involved. I missed the girl who said, "no thanks, I'll just have water..." Sheet dude, I got my diabetes and high blood pressure from arguing with my parents. I should use a different term besides arguing, because you’d have thought I would be allowed to say something in an argument. Nope, hence diabetes and high blood pressure, although I refuse to catch ancer from them while they were alive. Naturally, they argued about a lot. And about that not eating thing, why did I take so many girls to eat, and they always ate. I took several of them out a lot more than once, and food was always involved. I missed the girl who said, “no thanks, I’ll just have water…”

]]> By: heart in san francisco http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8828 heart in san francisco Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:02:36 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8828 I think my favorite is the one about married women not wearing underwear to bed, even if it is in a parking lot. My family had its mythology, too, often based in paranoia but also tending toward the Lucy telling Linus that rain falls upward variety: 1. Jews could not be alcoholics. (I figured husband # 2 just enjoyed bars every night because after all, he was Jewish.) 2. MY mother was a gourmet cook, too. (I hated everything called food until I grew up and discovered Julia Child.) Her food was not inedible, exactly, just unimaginative or unpleasant. 3. My 5'6" father was a giant of a man. (Well...) 4. Women were stupid and also bad drivers. Girls had no value at all until they grew up, and then only if they were very pretty. This shit makes me so angry I think my blood pressure is rising and someone is plotting to give me cancer besides. Diabetes, too. And my womb needs a face lift. I think my favorite is the one about married women not wearing underwear to bed, even if it is in a parking lot.

My family had its mythology, too, often based in paranoia but also tending toward the Lucy telling Linus that rain falls upward variety:

1. Jews could not be alcoholics. (I figured husband # 2 just enjoyed bars every night because after all, he was Jewish.)

2. MY mother was a gourmet cook, too. (I hated everything called food until I grew up and discovered Julia Child.) Her food was not inedible, exactly, just unimaginative or unpleasant.

3. My 5’6″ father was a giant of a man. (Well…)

4. Women were stupid and also bad drivers. Girls had no value at all until they grew up, and then only if they were very pretty.

This shit makes me so angry I think my blood pressure is rising and someone is plotting to give me cancer besides. Diabetes, too. And my womb needs a face lift.

]]> By: TWM http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8827 TWM Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:45:42 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8827 I want to know from your old man how you not wearing underwear to bed causes parking lot accidents. You guys have one of those tricked out vans? If so I suggest you tint the windows. The accident that flipped me over and broke my neck the first time was caused by a driver coming out of a parking lot does that count? I have been a diabetic (diagnosed) for 15 years...I am smarter now than I was then...can I get rid of it now? But I have great blood pressure...mostly because I have been able to recognize bullshit when I hear it. Remember the mantra "rethefucklax, rethefucklax" it's a Detroit Buddhist thing. Be Well OG they can't harm you anymore. mark Just remember OG that old saw about you can pick your nose but not your blood relations. I want to know from your old man how you not wearing underwear to bed causes parking lot accidents. You guys have one of those tricked out vans? If so I suggest you tint the windows.

The accident that flipped me over and broke my neck the first time was caused by a driver coming out of a parking lot does that count?

I have been a diabetic (diagnosed) for 15 years…I am smarter now than I was then…can I get rid of it now?

But I have great blood pressure…mostly because I have been able to recognize bullshit when I hear it. Remember the mantra “rethefucklax, rethefucklax” it’s a Detroit Buddhist thing.

Be Well OG they can’t harm you anymore.

mark

Just remember OG that old saw about you can pick your nose but not your blood relations.

]]> By: Zengoddessjen http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8826 Zengoddessjen Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:29:32 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8826 And yet here you sit, perfectly you, perfectly imperfect, perfectly unique and loved - surrounded by people that would do anything for you and adore you despite being poisoned repeatedly by Bay Leaves, having high blood pressure, and surviving the cancers (in the form of lies) that your parents gave you. And pssttt...accidents DO happen in parking lots; just ask my sister. Her last accident in a parking lot is now 8.5 years old ;)~ And yet here you sit, perfectly you, perfectly imperfect, perfectly unique and loved – surrounded by people that would do anything for you and adore you despite being poisoned repeatedly by Bay Leaves, having high blood pressure, and surviving the cancers (in the form of lies) that your parents gave you.

And pssttt…accidents DO happen in parking lots; just ask my sister. Her last accident in a parking lot is now 8.5 years old ;) ~

]]> By: Tiny Tyrant http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8825 Tiny Tyrant Wed, 08 Jul 2009 17:18:33 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8825 We had fun with the bay leaves in Dad's spaghetti sauce. No we didn't eat, but whoever found it got extra dessert. :-) PS Most of my minor accidents happened in parking lots ;-) There is a reason I now drive a car with a back up sensor. We had fun with the bay leaves in Dad’s spaghetti sauce.

No we didn’t eat, but whoever found it got extra dessert. :-)

PS Most of my minor accidents happened in parking lots ;-) There is a reason I now drive a car with a back up sensor.

]]> By: footpad http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8824 footpad Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:42:17 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8824 I empathize with your experience on many levels, having gone through similar (though) different experiences. It always amazes me to see how some parents hurt their children without any clue (or regard) to the impact of their actions. Congratulations on figuring out (at least some of) the BS correctly. :-) <em>--f</em> I empathize with your experience on many levels, having gone through similar (though) different experiences.

It always amazes me to see how some parents hurt their children without any clue (or regard) to the impact of their actions.

Congratulations on figuring out (at least some of) the BS correctly. :-)

–f

]]> By: Orneryswife http://www.on-a-limb.com/2009/07/about-claudia-part-five-facts-turned-bullshit/#comment-8823 Orneryswife Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:04:34 +0000 http://www.on-a-limb.com/?p=3314#comment-8823 I am sorry you were lied to so convincingly! But, I am more glad that you figured it out later! :) I'm not convinced about the parking lot thing, though. LOL! tm I am sorry you were lied to so convincingly! But, I am more glad that you figured it out later! :) I’m not convinced about the parking lot thing, though. LOL!
tm

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