Some times, telling the truth is the kindest thing you can do. It’s hard when the truth is unpleasant. However, it’s possible that a person needs the kindness of that truth.
And some times, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. Smile, nod, and go about your business.
The ‘say or not to say’ dilemma comes to a head this time of year.
At this point in my life, I decide based on the relationship. If it’s a close friend, I might find a way to tell her she’s being controlling. A neighbor? I won’t bother.
How do you decide when to speak or when not to speak?
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I have been thinking about this all day since listening to a podcast, was it on a site. It is a hard question. Thanks for bringing it up.
Given the opportunity to speak I will always speak…the thing of it is though is not the decision to speak or not; but what heart am I speaking from…the one that desires improvement or the one that desires to tear down the one spoken too.
An important question. I don’t think you can decide until the point of speaking.
I try my best to always be truthful. If it is someone who I am not close to and I know I am going to really hurt their feelings I will try my best to just be nice. However my closest friends get the brutal honesty from me. I need my closest friends to be brutally honest, if they can’t be who will be? This is what I love about my close friends, they keep me grounded, they don’t let me get away with anything, and I love them for it.
I think that most people know…but they choose to ignore the situation they’re in for whatever reason.
Gosh, yes, what a dilemma. Often if we keep things bottled up, the truth comes out in unfortunate ways. I think the best thing is to speak the truth as kindly and as gently as possible, before it becomes a mountain out of a molehill. I had a co-worker who for years has acted as if she were my supervisor, which of course she is not. Not even close! I kept it bottled up until one day I exploded, unfortunately. Things have now settled down again, we have a friendly working relationship, but she got the message. I should have taken her aside years ago and quietly spoken to her instead of letting it fester. So, yes, sometimes it is best to always be honest from the get-go.
i give people several chances. if they are overbearing with their behavior and exasperating the people around them repeatedly and without apology, i’m saying something. if it does no good i let them know their presence is unwelcome in my life and we should do our best to avoid each other.
Linda – It is a hard question.
Anthony North – Ooh then sometimes it’s too late!
Topsurf – I like my friends brutally honest as well. The truth is trustworthy!
Janet – Indeed. I’ve learned that in some hard ways.
Jo – It’s hard because those explosions can work or completely back fire. As you said, it’s unfortunate how the truth comes out some times.
Jameil – You are so wise. That’s a perfect way to deal with difficult people. I like how you don’t take these people personally.
very good question. I too, base it on the relationship. No sense getting my big girl panties in a wad with someone I don’t know!
PS I decided on a watch and posted it in my simply kind post tonight.
I suspect we all face this question … and thinking about it yet again this morning, I’m reminded of a quote from the Dalai Lama: “If you want other to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” and Jesus reminding us that ‘those who are without sin should cast the first stone.’ I’ve learned over time to reflect on my reasons for speaking (or not) and follow my heart.
Hugs and blessings,