It happened again.
I said, “this” and they heard “that.” They were so upset that they worried about it all night.
I was lucky. They trusted me enough to tell me they were upset. Gratefully, we cleared up the matter fairly easily.
Still, imagine my chagrin! I was heart broken to learn that I had so egregiously offended someone – on accident.
As I venture into the Internet stream, I strive to practice kind words. Sometimes, I delete a comment rather than potentially be misunderstood. Often, I focus on what is true and supportive about a blog post, person or email interaction. I am not afraid to apologize as well.
When in doubt, I pick up the telephone.
Even with all this effort, miscommunication happens. In fact, did you know that words only account for 6 percent of the information translated in a conversation? 6 percent! It’s not suprising that we misinterpret the tone of internet communication over half of the time. Add a 140 character limit in plurk, twitter or facebook and you’re bound to have miscommunication.
What do you do to keep your internet interactions kind and friendly?
I really learned my lesson about miscommunication and misinterpreted tone via e-mail from being a manager. So sometimes I do, write and re-write and/or delete.
I’m sorry someone was upset about something you said, because I feel you extremely kind and go out of your way to make people feel better, not intentionally hurt them. *HUGS*
Early on I noticed that emails can be taken the wrong way. I have never forgotten that. I have learned to never accuse or assume. People often take things they see online the wrong way. I am sorry about what happened to you, from all my interaction with you online, you have been one of the most helpful, kindest person’s I ever have met. ((((hugs))))
Miss Attitude – Yes, being a manager creates extra tension in these situations. Taking the time to use extra care seems very wise. As for me? I think this kind of thing happens so easily – it’s bound to happen to me!
Topsurf – Gosh, never accuse or assume is probably a great way to deal with any interaction. I think these things happen to everyone. I’m grateful for the reminder to use more care.
I find myself writing and then deleting comments quite often when reading various blogs or plurks. If I don’t have something kind or constructive to say, I would rather just remain silent. It does no good to say something hurtful just to say it.
I leasrned long ago that the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is wrong. Wounds heal and while they may leave scars, those scars don’t cut nearly as deeply as the memory of cruel words.
Thank you for starting this theme….
XOXO
i do the same thing you do. i read over my comments, then delete them if i believe they may be misunderstood.
I apologize for missing Week One of Simply Kind Tuesdays, but I’ve just created & published a Week 2-Simply Kind post at Sacred Ruminations this morning. I’m delighted to continue participating in the Everyday Kindness movement and … I plan to make this a regular part of my blogging ;–)
Thanks for all you do!
Hugs and blessings,
I’m sorry … my mind is mush. The comment above was the one I left at Everyday Kindness earlier … and the one below is what I intended to leave here. Sigh! Let’s hear it for the best laid plans ;–)
Excellent reminder! These kinds of misunderstandings can occur all too easily … especially in the ‘written medium’ of blogging. We must each pay attention not only to the words we use, but to the reactions of others … making the effort to clarify as needed. I apologize for missing the 1st week of Simply Kind Tuesdays, but I did create and publish at Sacred Ruminations today and plan to make this is a regular part of my blogging. Thanks for all you do ;–)
Hugs and blessings,
You know I am not sure. I know that when I make my posts I try write them in such a way not to offend….but then there are times that I have strong opinions and I am not afraid to share them….when that happens I often find I start my post off stating that these are my opinions and my intent is not to offend…but just to open up dialogue on a certain topic.
You are so very right that things can and do get misinterpreted…because the written word does not show inflection or the look upon my face….I guess if I was as eloquent a writer as Shakespear or the romantic poet Robert Dunn…..then maybe….but I am not…..
So I just do my best to try and be considerate of others feelings and if I have offended like you I am quick to apologize.
I am not participating in this meme today only because I have dedicated my blog today to the memory of our war Vetrans.
Perpstu – Hearts heal so slowly – much more slowly than bones or skin. You’re right about that sticks and stones.
She – Of course, it’s impossible to handle all misunderstandings, but it’s a good idea to try!
Storyteller – Thanks for joining this little meme. And yes, paying attention to our reader – who we are writing for – is as important as what we say.
Smalltown RN – I think you have a great point – sometimes we must take a stand. Everyone has places they will take a stand in their life – offend or otherwise. Good for you for remembering our Veterans! I’m excited to have you join!
I applaud your dedication to committing Everyday Kindness. There are days I just want to smack people down lately. Maybe I should re-evaluate how to handle “those people.”
I, too, get misconstrued by others from time to time. How do we rectify that?
[...] 11, 2008 by cajunvegan My online real-world friend, Claudia, has issued a challenge to her readers worshipers. I know. I know. You remember that I said I was performing random [...]
I blog pretty much how I am in “real” life. I do deal with conflict very well, so I just try to avoid it! LOL
that should be do NOT deal with conflict
If I can’t write a nice comment, I avoid writing one. I’m not perfect at this, but I try.
Hi, Claudia,
Thank you for hosting Simply Kind Tuesday. I’m excited to be participating this week. (I posted about thankulness to our veterans, so I think I wasn’t up-to-speed on the meme topic.)
Yes; isn’t it the truth that it is so easy to give unintentional offense?
To try to maintain peace online, I try to accentuate the positive, but another help is to simply stay away from blogs that emanate anger, bad language, or points of view that I find offensive. Others are entitled to their opinions, certainly, and it’s not up to me to tell them that I disagree with them!
“Fools go where angels fear to tread.”
I have strong opinions and don’t quibble in my blog posts. But I know that words can hurt or heal so in real life and comments I try to be careful with them, to support and empower, encourage and reassure. Sometimes I am misunderstood anyway. Words are wonderful but still, an imperfect medium.