Every year, I pick one book that I call the “bathroom book.” I leave it in the bathroom and read one chapter per day. Over the course of the year, I end up reading the book a dozen times and really learn what it says.
This year’s book is called Trusting Yourself
Thursday Thirteen #21 – Increasing your trust in yourself
More than ever, we must to learn to trust our own wisdom. Here are some ideas to help:
1. If you have an inner critic, why can’t you have an inner booster? Simply stop and praise yourself. Be sure to call yourself by name. And try saying it out loud when you are alone and notice the effect.
2. When you are stuck on making a choice or decision and think, I don’t know what to do, ask yourself: If I did know, what would the answer be? Keep asking the question until you give yourself an answer.
3. Another idea if you are stuck making a choice, bring to mind the wisest person you know. What would they do in this situation? Then do that.
4. If you’re someone who always blames him or herself when things go wrong, use the psychological technique of reattribution to expand your thinking. Ask yourself, What other factors contributed to this situation besides me?
5. How do you get over overwhelm? What has worked in the past? Write yourself a reminder and put it on your computer screen or car seat. Then, when you begin to swirl, the way out is right in front of you.
6. Can’t remember a fact, a name? Relax your mind and let it go. The answer will most likely soon pop into your head.
7. Have trouble saying no? Get in the habit of saying, “I’ll get back to you,” instead.
8. Be like Julia Child. When things went wrong on her cooking show – and they did – she took it in stride. Pulling out a fallen souffle in front of millions of viewers, this master chef exclaimed: “You can’t win them all!”
9. When confronted with a problem that seems to overwhelm you and is taking all your mental energy, ask yourself: If I didn’t have this problem, what would I be doing? Then do that. That way you don’t spend all your time on the problem, but get on with the rest of your life.
10. Outlaw media that increase your self-doubt or self-loathing and tune into those that help you understand how beautiful, competent, and successful.
11. Is envy eroding your ability to trust yourself? Try this approach that Slovakian women teach their daughters: If a sincere compliment to the person who has stirred up those gremlins, and the good feelings you generate will restore your faith in yourself.
12. Ask yourself: If I didn’t worry about anyone else’s approval or ask anyone else’s opinion, what would I do now?
13. Do an airplane view of your work at the end of the week. Take a few minutes to step back, look at what you’ve done that week, and create your priorities for the coming one.
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One and four speak to me in a big way! I learned young to tear myself down all the time. Thanks for this wonderful post.
Great advice! I’m horrible about remembering names. I have to picture the person’s face to recall the name.
Happy TT!
I confess to being suspicious of self-help books. If we indulged in self-help, why would we need them
This is a great list, and I really needed to read a couple of these right now
Thank you and happy TT!
I don’t have an inner critic at all, just a legion of inner boosters!
I find that if can’t remember a name or other fact, if I don’t actually try to, then sooner or later I will remember it out of the blue.
Sandy Carlson – me too. I think that’s why I like this so much.
Nicole Austin – I can remember anyone’s face – but name? If I get it wrong once, it’s wrong forever.
AnthonyNorth – Oh, me too. I use them to keep me positive and remind me of what I need to do.
Sue – Cool. I’m delighted to help.
Nicholas – I wonder if I might borrow an inner booster or two. I speak fluent British…
Great list!
Your post coordinates really well with what I’m learning from The Artist’s Way, too. I’m going to look for this book! Happy TT!
re: #1 – I was taught that it wasn’t nice to brag.
re: #4 – Recently, I ended a friendship with someone who was like that. It really wears on one after awhile.
re: #8 – LOVED Julia!!!
I didn’t do a T13 this week, so I didn’t sign into the auto link. I had something else I wanted to talk about and it couldn’t wait.
Awesome post! This is so inspirational! We call the bathroom the Library at our house-lol! Thanks for stopping by! Bookmarking you now!
Love this post. What a great idea about the bathroom book. I might have to steal that idea along with some of the others in your TT post.
That’s a great list. I need to remember that book so I can pick it up at the store. It would probably help me out a lot.
Great list. Loved the quote from Julia Child.
Excellent.
SJR
The Pink Flamingo
When evaluating my radio show, I can sometimes be my own worst critic. I am getting better at keeping a sense of humor when things don’t go as planned.
I talk to myself all the time, but actually calling myself by name just feels incredibly odd (#1), but I do agree that people need to recognize to themselves what they’ve accomplished/achieved instead of just focusing on the mistakes. I know I’m guilty of that.
I absolutely love your list. I think self-talk is the best. I often remind people in my line of work that it’s ok to encourage yourself. Great post and thanks for visiting me.
Words to live by. Happy TT.
Awesome stuff, Claudia!
I really like the one about “if I weren’t doing this, what would I be doing instead?” — I’ve been using that on myself of late, and I’m getting some really good writing done!
Of course, then I feel guilty about only lurking at most of the blogs I read, and sad that people don’t visit me anymore. I’m not sure I can win — but I tell myself that maybe they are lurking, too, and will buy the book when it comes out. Yes, I said when. No clue when that will be, but it’ll happen somehow!
wonderful reading.
Thank you so much.
9. When confronted with a problem that seems to overwhelm you and is taking all your mental energy, ask yourself: If I didn?t have this problem, what would I be doing? Then do that. That way you don?t spend all your time on the problem, but get on with the rest of your life.
Claudia, I am going to nominate your for sainthood, just for posting that one alone!!! I struggle with that every minute of every day.
Now I know the solution. Thank you!
Would you please tell me who is paying you to give me therapy, please?
Janet – It seems like the braggers get all the credit though, there’s got to be a balance. I do love Julia Child.
Mercedes – Glad to inspire!
Maria – I’ve been doing the bathroom book for a couple years. It really works and I learn so much – really integrate the information.
Cordia Amant – I love MJ Ryan – it’s a great book!
Lazy Daisy – I do too! What a great person!
SJR – Glad you liked it.
Malcolm – I think it’s good create an excellent product. That’s missing in the world – but we each must find that balance between perfect and realistic. It’s a hard line to walk.
Sarah – Thanks
Joely – The artist’s way is lovely. I’m glad you liked it.
Claudia – Me too. I struggle with getting overwhelmed with my failures – instead of my successes.
Pjazzypar – Positive self talk is wonderful – of course, we have to also catch the natural negative nattering.
Pussreboots – Yes indeed.
Susan Helen Gottfried – I think it’s hard to find an even balance between actually doing the writing and promoting the writing. Ah well. Good luck with your writing!
Karen – Glad you liked it!
Josie – I can’t tell you how many years of my life have been consumed worrying about problems I don’t even remember! what a waste.
The CEO – shucks, I’m a lot better therapist than this!
#6 is soooo true for me! Once I let go, the weirdest things pop into my head! This was a provocative post. Thanks for sharing (and thanks for visiting my TT)
Great list, Claudia. I need an inner cheerleader! it’s much easier to do for others though. I definitely outlaw the evening news as well. As far as feeling overwhelmed (doing it currently, btw), I find if I realize it and simply list out all the things clamoring for attention it helps.
This is a wonderful list, thank you for sharing it. I’ve gotten pretty good and letting go and listening to my inner cheerleader over my inner critc, but it’s always great to be reminded and to see others taking in similar lessons.
Happy TT
~X
I really enjoyed this post despite everything my TT says this week.
I did not get the promotion again. I almost gave in to the power of positive thinking, but sarcasm came to the rescue.
Inspirational thoughts. Especially the one about taking blame.
Jennifer
It’s a lovely post, really; but you know I’m stuck on that excellent door knocker!
Good advice, but sometimes hard to implement. Isn’t everything beneficial that way though?…
There’s a lot of wisdom in that advice.
I’m convinced that a lot of problems we have stem from not trusting ourselves. We’re all so used to “them” knowing better than us, that it’s almost automatic to discount our own thoughts/feelings/intuition if it’s counter to someone else’s. And much of the time, “they” don’t actually know better–they just sound more convincing than our inner voices.
Awesome, just awesome. I do have to say the very FIRST one is something we ALL need. You did good.
Happy Thursday.
I?ve not heard of this book, but I certainly like the ideas you?ve shared and may pick it up myself. I discovered the value of #7 (saying I?ll get back to you) when I had difficulty saying ?no? ? and am amazed at how it simplified my life. I love #1 (inner booster) and #9 (avoiding ?stuckness? by getting on with other things) and have put those two on ?sticky notes? here on my desk so I remember them. Thanks for sharing.
Hugs and blessings,
They were all great, but I am really working hard on number 13. Cause my weeks are not very productive.
haha
I love you positivity. I need it more than I want it… hahaha
That’s a very very inspiring T13.
This was a fantastic list.
Happy TT!
- Renee
I love number 1. Why not have an inner cheerleader? I’ll definitely read, “Trust Yourself.”
Wow. What a wonderful list. I love the one about Julia Child- It just shows that not all cooks or people are perfect.
That’s a wonderful list! Awesome ideas…definitely going to try them in the future. Thanks for visiting, I can understand not wanting to leave Ireland, it was definitely amazing!!!
Happy TT!
Oh wow.
This stuff could change the whole world. I know SO many people who need a link to this…
Wonderful! I need to remember each and every one. On number 4, I think more people need to ask, “how did I contribute to this problem?” I feel so bolstered now.
#4 is so me
The Gal Herself – How wonderful that you know that! I remember this, then forget, then remember….
Kaige – I think it’s wonderful to just get this stuff out of our head and on paper. Personally, I think the yellow pencil is magic.
Xakara – Hurray! It’s wonderful you can see your own growth.
Cajun Vegan – ARG! I am so sorry about the promotion. GRRRR!
Jennifer – Yes, it’s nice to get a little relief.
Deanna Dahlsad – I think we all struggle with this. At least we know it?
Robin – I think we are surrounded by “nattering nobs of negativity” – we must be reminded of these thing over and over again.
Darla – I think you’re right. I certainly struggle with this. Hell, I ruined businesses because of “their” advice.
Hootin’ Annie – You bet. It’s hard to balance. I don’t want to think I’m perfect – but feeling awful is a lie too.
Storyteller – Hurray for sticky notes. I learn and relearn, then learn again the “I’ll get back to you”. Life is like that!
Wonderful Kelly – I think that we all do a lot. I bet you get more done than you think – the key is to VALUE what you DO rather than doing a lot over here and valuing only what you haven’t done.
No Nonsense Girl – Shucks , you flatter a girl.
Renee @ Lyrical Press – I’m glad you liked it!
Brenda ND – It’s a wonderful book. I know you’ll like it.
Morgan – Julia was so wonderful – such a role model of being superior and accepting humanity.
Bethany – Yes, Ireland. Heart wrenching place.
Rian – Send it along!
Loose Leaf Colleen – It’s one of those funny things. Some people take zero responsibility while others feel bad for every single thing – cause and effect is tough to find balance. Great thought!
She – What are you going to do about it?
#3 – ‘bring to mind the wisest person you know. What would they do in this situation? Then do that.’
I’m the person whom everyone turns to as the wisest person they know. So whom do I turn to? Often I just tell myself: ‘you’d tell other people to do such-and-such – so do that.’
But it feels so much better when my husband says it for me! Luckily, he’s a wise fellow himself. Can’t tell you what a relief that is for me.
Claudia,
These were really great! I’m taking notes and may even break down and buy the book (smile).
These were all great pieces of advice. If only more people could apply them. It would change the world.
My T13 #72 is up. 13 Photo Answers to the Photo Meme Stop by if you get a chance.
you are a walking self-help book and i love it!
7. Is the kind of advice that has helped me a lot in the last few years. That and the phrase “I’ll think about it.”
This is some great advice! I might have to pick up that book and put it in my bathroom. Thanks for stopping by! Happy TT
I could really refer back to this list time and time again. Great reminders!
Another excellent list. So many of these are so useful!
I’m barely in the bathroom long enough to read the back of the toothpaste tube.
Julia – I think that’s a lot of pressure to be the person people turn too. I’m glad you find the wisdom within to sustain you
Lori – Ah, get the book – it’s worth it!
Dame Bramage – Well, it’s changed my world – that’s for sure!
Jameil – Well, I’ve written this stuff for more than 10 years. I might just be a walking self help book!
Alice Audrey – Some times the all important pause can really make a difference.
Kat’s Krackerbox – Good plan!
Jennifer – I hope it’s helpful.
Maggie – Glad you liked it.
Fabbie – That’s an odd fact. Big tube of toothpaste, is it?
Julia Child. See that’s the way to do it man. Hmmm, this might be why I’ve gained a little bit of weight lately. =o)
Some powerful words in that book, I may need to look into that one.
Thank you for sharing it this week.
Mine is up @ The Cafe
Sounds like this book would put me in a continuously good mood. That’s dangerous for my rep, Claudia.
All very good suggestions, Claudia……..especially having a good book to read in one’s multi-tasking library. Right now, I have “The Lonely Planet, London” within arms reach as I plot out some of my trip in May.
The one that JUMPED out at me was the recommendation to stay away from the negativity in the media. I am a firm believer, especially when it comes to blogs. I get completely turned off by the political blogs out there despite being a political wonk.
I also like the suggestions dealing with the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Christy – You are funny! Maybe it’s just married life?
Penelope Anne – It’s a great book.
Slick – Ah well, the chicks will dig you!
Awareness – Hurray for a little vacation! Good for you! Yes, I heard the media called “nattering nobs of negativity” recently – yes, indeedy!
Here is the reason I love this community, and you in particular. When things are very dark and dreary (and they are right now even tho I am not talking about in public yet) you do something like this that helps me TREMENDOUSLY. I hope you know that everyday you make a difference in this world and it is greatly appreciated. I am off to try #9 and see if it gets me through the day.
Fantastic & thoughtful list.
These are all wonderful ideas for increasing self-esteem and productiveness which breeds more self-esteem.
Thank you for sharing.
The thing that is working for me right now is living in appreciation of the moment. Stop. Turn around. Look at where you are from a different angle. Appreciate the beauty. I do this on the golf course and I have seen vistas that I have not experienced before even though I have been playing this couse for 5 years.
What an excellent list!
Now I’m really intrigued…I might have to check out this book.
Thanks & happy weekend!
Vixen – I’m sorry things remain so challenging. I hope you’ve found a solution that works.
Tamy – Cool.
Heart in SF – I’m glad you liked it.
Di – What a lovely idea. I think that staying in that appreciateion/gratitude is a real way to happiness.
Rasmenia – Glad you liked the list! Enjoy your weekend.
LOL…I have bathroom books too!
Great post and great advise…and so simple too! If only we can remember to keep it simple!
Peace
You rock the house with this one once again!
By the way, I’ve been passing that Tony Robbins video around to a bunch of folks I know. I really needed to see it last week and it helped SO much. Thanks for that.
Odat – What’s in your bathroom? Yes, it’s the remembering that’s so hard.
Los Angelista – I’m so glad you like the video. I watch it quite a bit – when I forget or feel down. He’s really great.
that sounds like a great book. another inspiring TT from claudia.
OK, I have to disagree with the “I’ll get back to you” bit. I HATE when people say that to me. Just tell me no so that I can get on with making alternate plans!