Colorado, the center of the universe.

My buddy Van at Furious Ball begged and pleaded for this post. In an effort to end the numerous photos and vids of him begging on his hands and knees, here goes:

Reasons Colorado is the center of the universe.

1. Starting with the obvious, Colorado is near dead center in the United States.

Everyone knows that the citizens of the United States believe the US is center of the universe. Thus it follows that IF Colorado is the center of the US, it is the center of the universe.

2. Stars love Colorado.

Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn, Tom Cruise and whatever wife he’s on, Ricky Shroeder, Oprah Winfrey – should I continue?

Actors, producers, television people and the like own homes in Colorado. And this time of year? With the snow pack this year?

Hell, there are so many stars here than in the freakin’ Milky Way.

While astronomers SAY there is no center of the universe, clearly the display of stardom indicates real center of the Big Bang. Would you say?

3. Where else would someone confess on a piece of trim, then put the trim on a house?

I kid you not. (Confession to 19th century murder found in house)

“To whoever may happen to find the confession, I, John W. Spicer of the City of Fountain, State of Colorado, being about to shuffle off this mortal act to make this my full confession in the hope that when I am gone it may be found and at last clear up the darkest mystery that ever embraced one in human murder.”

4. More enemies of the state live here than anywhere else in the world.

Can you say: SUPERMAX?

• Omar Abdel-Rahman, 34892-054, Islamist terrorist, nicknamed “The Blind Sheik”; involved in World Trade Center bombing planning in 1993
• Anthony “Gaspipe” Casso, 16802-050, mobster and former underboss of the Lucchese crime family
• Wadih el-Hage, 42393-054, conspirator in the 1998 United States embassy bombings
• Matthew F. Hale, 15177-424, white supremacist leader; convicted of soliciting the murder of a federal judge
• Robert Hanssen, 48551-083, FBI agent; convicted of spying for the Soviet Union and Russia
• Larry Hoover, 86063-024, leader of the Gangster Disciples Nation based in Chicago
• Theodore Kaczynski, 04475-046, the “Unabomber“
• David Lane (deceased), 12873-057, Neo-Nazi leader, involvement in Alan Berg‘s murder
• John Walker Lindh, 45426-083, dubbed “The American Taliban“
• Juan Matta-Ballesteros, 37671-133, drug trafficker, co-conspirator in Enrique Camarena case
• Zacarias Moussaoui, 51427-054, conspirator in the September 11, 2001 attacks
• Terry Nichols, 08157-031, Oklahoma City Bombing conspirator
• Richard Colvin Reid, 24079-038, Islamist terrorist, “Shoe Bomber”
• Eric Robert Rudolph, 18282-058, Christian Identity terrorist, Olympic Park bomber
• Dwight York, 17911-054, leader of the Nuwaubianists; convicted for child molestation, racketeering and financial reporting charges
• Ramzi Yousef, 03911-000, Islamist terrorist, 1993 World Trade Center bombing
• Timothy McVeigh (deceased), Oklahoma City Bombing executed on June 11, 2001
• Kenneth “Supreme” McGriff, 26301-053, an American drug trafficker and organized crime figure.
• H. Rap Brown, 99974-555, former civil rights activist convicted of murdering a Georgia sheriff deputy.
• Francisco Javier Arellano-Felix, 00677-748, Tijuana Cartel leader.
• Thomas Silverstein, 14634-116, convicted of murdering guard Merle Clutts
• Luis Felipe, 14067-074, founder of the New York chapter of the Almighty Latin Kings and Queens Nation
• Howard “Pappy” Mason, 24651-053, drug trafficker who ordered the murder of police officer Eddie Byrne.
• Barry Mills, Leading member of Aryan_Brotherhood.

5. While we’re talking about criminals….

These boys inspired hundreds of deaths in multiple countries. They are heroes to some. Of course, the FBI just calls by something more simple – “psychopath”.

6. Of course there’s this:

Blue? That means growth and wealth. Yellow? Orange? Yeah, not so much. Let me see…. Where is New Jersey on this map??

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I would continue, but I think I’ve made my point. So what do you say, Van? How is New Jersey the center of the freakin’ universe?

On other notes, the first in my serial fiction called “The Driver” is up at Miss-Britt.com. Pop over and check it out. Lemme know what you think.