On A Limb with Claudia

Recently the CEO presented me with the Rockin’ Girl Blogger award.

In an effort to live up to this award, I have prepared a “What everyone needs to know when they go to a Rock Concert” guide.  My intention is to help you enjoy your next venture to a rock concert.

1.  If you are going to an outdoor concert (like Red Rocks), you should wait at least an hour after the doors open.   People get really drunk, take G or whatever, throw up and pass out.  Most of this happens within the first hour of a concert.  You can miss all of this by going a bit later.

2.  Don’t let your husband know that the lead singer is trying to pick you up.  While it’s always a good idea to keep your husband in the dark about such things, if he finds out that the lead singer is after you, you won’t get to see that band again.  Ever.  I know this because… uh… it happened to a good friend of mine.  Yeah, a really good friend.

3.   Want a great seat?  Wanna burn some karma?  Every venue has a great handicap area.  It’s up close, not vomit, very great seats.  We saw a number of concerts during the year that my ankle was in a cast.  If you’re desperate, and don’t mind the bad karma, they sell those walking casts at medical supply.  I’m karma conservative so after that year, we haven’t tried it.

4.  Always look at a band’s MySpace page before attending the concert your friend says is really “great” and you “have” to see.  No matter how much you might love them, some people simply have bad taste in music.  Better to know that up front than after paying 40 bucks to get in.

5.  Bring your phone.  You can text your friends on the lame screen.  More importantly, because of smoking bans, you can’t light your lighter to show your appreciation.  Fire up your clam shell cell phone and rock on.

6.  Wear sensible shoes.  If the band is any good, you are going to be jumping, dancing, running for drinks and standing for long periods of time.  I usually wear my Dansko clogs in the winter or my Dansko sandels in the summer.  Sometimes I wear my stilettos but only on special occasions when I don’t have to walk the next day.

7. Boys are rude at these concerts.   Concerts can be total testosterone fests.  You have to expect that the guy behind you is going to feel you up or will make you push against him to get by.  I know this because… uh… it always happens to this good friend of mine.  A quick thumb in the ribs always works.  That’s what… uh… my friend always does.

8.  People are not supporting the devil here.  I know some of you Baptists are raised that this gesture:

or alternatively this gesture:

is a gesture for the devil.  But it’s not.  I don’t know exactly what it means, but the cool kids raise their hand over their head to rock.   Practice this hand gesture at home then rock on.

9.  The naked neighbor works security.  Just remember that that security guy who’s driving you crazy might be MY naked neighbor. He’s having a tough time.  Walk away.

10. Winter is a great time to rock.  Traditionally, bands play in the summer and fall.  A lot of bands play Europe in the winter.  However, bands that are just starting to make it - like Fall Out Boy, American Rejects, Plain White T’s, the Fray - will play smaller venues in the winter to try out their tour.  Keep an eye out and you can see some amazing acts.

I do hope this guide helps you enjoy your next rock concert.  Concerts can be so incredibly fun.  Enjoy!

I am passing along this award to the following Rocker Girls.

ADW at Hooters and Other Tales of Woe.

Bottle Blonde at Confessions of a Bottle Blonde.

Kelly at Cheaper than A Happy Meal.

Samantha K at Sports, Soap and a Wandering Mind.

I’m just thinking these gals can tell us a lot about rocking.

Filed under: Da Boys, Thoughts on being human....