Thursday Thirteen - Plastic Surgery shouldn’ts.
Ok, I’m a native California. In fact, I’m a forth generation native Californian. Which is to say that I have seen a lot of plastic surgery in my life. Hell, there’s a woman who claims to have raised me but I don’t recognize her… at all.
Thursday Thirteen #7
Let’s face it. Plastic surgery is really getting out of hand. Here’s thirteen plastic surgeries that simply should not happen:
1. Butt implants:
I don’t think I need to add any comment here. Do you?
2. Over a D cup:
I know the saying is “the bigger the better” but really.
Only Bigfoot has hands big enough to even hold these babies.
3. Lip implants:
They cut open your lip and insert a permanent silicone pad. Ew.
4. Penis “extension” surgery:
“Penis extension is achieved by cutting the main ligaments that anchor the penis to the pubic bone. What this does is allow a part of the penis that usually resides inside the body to hang outside, making the penis seem about an inch longer. The two main cosmetic problems are that the erection will now shoot straight out rather than up, and the pubic hair covers the base of the newly exposed penis. This procedure is usually combined with another procedure that is sort of a reverse liposuction. Which, basically, adds fat to the penis to give it more girth. Surgery is costly and not covered by insurance.”
You will in fact be “well hung” as hanging is about all your new “larger” (and an inch hairier) penis will do.
If you are thinking about this surgery, here a suggestion. How about learning how to use what you have? Just a thought.
5. Chest and Facial hair:
Before: Fugly
2050 hair transplants later?
(Let’s say it together -OUCH!)
Still Fugly, a little hairier.
You are not kissing me with that nasty stubble. Not a chance.
6. Liposuction = Death:
According to one US study, liposuction has a higher than normal death rate at 19 out of 100,000 surgeries. For the sake of comparison, there are 16.1 fatalities per 100,000 automobile accidents. The accepted rate of death for elective surgery is 1 out of 100,000 surgeries. The study shows that most of these surgeries were done in a doctor’s office and not in a hospital.
7. Pec implants:
Dude. Whey protein. Trainer. Gym membership.
You look stupid with tiny arms and a “big” chest.
8. Hymenplasty:
What is the draw here? I can understand it if a girl has been raped or molested. I believe she is still a virgin. So if it’s important to her culture, this makes some sense. (The surgery is very popular in the Middle East.)
But come on… If you want to watch some of the freak show, watch this video. Getting a new hymen reinvigorated their relationship?? What??
9. Anything Jocelyn Wilderstein has had done:
I’d shoot the person who did this to me.
10. Abdominal etching: ‘k. Because eating whey protein, hiring a professional trainer, joining a gym and working out is too freakish, abdominal etching was invented. It’s lipo with a twist.
Pre-lipo - abdominal etching
Post-lipo - abdominal etching and $9,000 later.
Let’s be grateful that abdominal implants have yet to take off.
11. Vaginal reconstruction: (Also called Vaginoplasty.) Do people really not know that you can strengthen those muscles? Certainly Kegel exercises work. Leg squats. Bridges. The list is fairly long. I’d rather do a few exercises than have some pervert doctor stick a laser up my vagina.
Some people say they get this done because they do not like the aesthetics of their private parts. (If you watched the video in #8, you’ll hear a woman say she became depressed over it.) To them, I say, “GET A LIFE“. Use your plastic surgery money on a good therapist.
12. Pencil thin nose. Let’s play name that nose:
13. Collagen lips: Click here to see an entire gallery of nasty collagen lips. Here’s a few of my favorites:
A. 
Britney Spears
B. 
Jenna Jameson
C. 
Liz Hurley
The first person who guess all three of these will also win some honey. (Kelly won!)
Did you know that it hurts to have collagen injected in your lips and it can hurt for months? I have a friend who didn’t kiss her husband for six months because kissing hurt too much. You can see the priorities here.
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Filed under: Da Gym, Distractions, The nerdiverse, Thoughts on being human...., Thursday Thirteen
Who is Jocelyn Wilderstein? I’m wincing in sympathy. Why would she do that? What did she look like before? I need to Google her.
Oh, I think I am going to be sick!
Thanks for visiting my TT!
I saw an episode of some plastic surgery show set in Beverly Hills where the doctor operated on his receptionist’s labia, as it was too long from her pregnancy. WTF!? And then, when it was over, he said, in his little accent; “There, it’s so nice and small, like a little flower.” or words to that effect. GAK! People need to stop watching so much porn, really.
Oh, MAN.
Hell, there’s a woman who claims to have raised me but I don’t recognize her… at all.
Ha!
Dude. Whey protein. Trainer. Gym membership.
You look stupid with tiny arms and a “big” chest.
hahahahaha
I am so putting this on stumbleupon.
Also, thanks. Now that I’m getting on in life, I’ve sometimes given some thought to….but no. No. I’m blowing up that tragic Halloween mask of a face and putting it on my wall. The poor thing. Maybe she needs eye surgery. Does she think this looks good?
i SOOOOO enjoy your TT’s! They are insightful and hilarious! I am also going to link your blog on my site! You are fab!
Ugh, being a native California, and living in Southern California for ten of those years, I’ve never understood the need to re-arrange your body! It makes me shudder to go under the knife for that purpose!
Yeah, some of that is over the top. I had a reduction and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done — but I’m determined that the tummy will go away on its own. As soon as I stop eating so much chocolate.
Happy TT!
OMG, what people will do in the name of beauty! Some of these things are just wrong. Jocelyn Wilderstein is difficult to look at. Could you imagine being introduced to her at a party? I’d probably drop my jaw and my drink.
Oh, the noses… here are my guesses.
1) Christoper Reeves
2) Michael Jackson
3) Jennifer Grey (this one is purely a guess)
The lips…. absolutely no clue!
Happy TT!! Thanks for visiting my site today.
Ann Aguirre - She’s an East Coast Socialite (shrugging). I figured all the people on the east coast look like that.
Chelle - Breathe, breathe….
Janet - Ew. I mean really…. (shaking my head)
Damozel - Hey, thanks for the link. I think about it as well but then remember that lady that swears she’s my mother. Unbelievable.
She - Gosh that’s nice of you. I’ll add you as well. Thanks for stopping by.
Vicki Gaia - I think it’s a kind of insanity that strikes women. But who knows? After this research, a lot of men get it done. I mean can you imagine someone jamming hair follicles into your face???
Me again! How did I miss that you’d used a banner I’d made. I guess it was that first picture that distracted me. Thank you and thanks for the link.
Wow, this is really gross. I have never been a fan of plastic surgery anyway, but this can turn one off forever. This Wilderstein woman is just tragic. I saw someone recently on tv who was trying to look like Barbie, and tragic doesn’t even begin to cover it. *yuck*
Regarding #5, though: Is it just me or is there really no discernible difference between those 2 pictures? It just looks like this guys beard is grown a day more in pic 2. Waste of money, if ever there was one.
I wish all those rich crazy people would just donate their money to me instead of wasting it on uglification…. LOL
Susan Helen Gottfried - Good for you for doing something that you feel good about. I think it’s important to feel good about yourself. And there must be some reason applied. Good luck with the chocolate!
Harlekwin - Good guesses. You got the middle - but not the others. Sorry. Thanks for playing though! I love the banner. Thanks for making it available!
Samulli - I KNOW! We need to make posters to remind ourselves what can happen. As for #5 - I swear I got the photos from a before and after plastic surgery site. I love the word: “uglification”!
What an interesting list!! Ouch!
I am going to guess on the lips. I am so clueless on the second one. I am just going to guess.. and if get it wrong someone can steal the other two answers and win.
Britney Spears
?Jenna Jameson?
Jessica Beal?
This was a great TT! Some people are freaking CRAZY… is that first pic for real? CAuse that is just craziness! They can have some of my ass, I won’t mind!
Oh, my eyes! My eyes! I will never recover from some of those photos.
Hey, I’ve got my hot chicks up this week, lol. Some of them may or may not have had a few of these procedures…
Happy TT!
I love it that you added the pictures.
Amy - Ouch is right!Kelly - You are so close! Yes, Britney Spears and Jenna Jameson but not Jessica Beal. Sorry! The ass picture is real. It’s Coco - Ice T’s wife. ew.Samantha K. - I’m so sorry. I felt that way after my retina burn from BS privates. I think we can be certain that most of them have had at least one of these procedures.
Jen - The pictures do make it fun, don’t they?
Good Lawd, that is a sight. If circus freak shows were still around (and they seem to be at my local grocery store), these people would be the main attractions.
Sad. Really.
Why, why, why?? I used to check Awful Plastic Surgery fairly frequently, but it just got too depressing. So many times, the before pictures look better.
BottleBlonde - What’s amazing to me is that people used to be discrete about their surgeries. Now they show it off like an accomplishment. I had someone actually quit therapy because I wouldn’t support her having a tummy tuck - when she didn’t need it. Crazy.
Darla - At the root of it, I think men and women don’t communicate very well. Women want men - and they think this will help. (shrugging) just a random guess. what do you think?
Those are just not right.
Hey i read your comment on my 13 and i bet there would be some way for you to ghost hunt for payment. maybe just print up some flyers. I would do some searching around to see what you could charge.
This would be great with the added cleaning added on , because they prob dont want the ghost in their house and you could get rid of it. maybe something to look into.
I’m also a native Californian and I’ve never been tempted to go under the knife. Bletch. Happy TT and thanks for stopping by.
[...] On A Limb with Claudia wrote an interesting post today on Thursday Thirteen - Plastic Surgery shouldnâts.Here’s a quick excerpt Thursday Thirteen - Plastic Surgery shouldn’ts. Ok, I’m a native California … of plastic surgery in my life. Hell, there’s a woman who claims to have raised me but I don’t recognize … to the penis to give it more girth. Surgery is costly and not covered by insurance.” You will in fact [...]
If ever I was tempted to go under the knife, these photos would dissuade me! (Thanks for stopping by my TT)
Okay, I’m sitting here with my legs tightly crossed and my eyes watering, after reading #4. I think I echo 99% of the male population of the world when I say “No one with a scalpel is getting within arm’s length of my penis. I’ll just go with what I’ve got.”
I remember when that Wilderstien woman was in the news. A big divorce case, I believe. She was one of those obscenely rich women who was so pampered that she couldn’t even make a slice of toast on her own. I suppose it was mind numbing boredom that made her have all those procedures.
Labiaplasty?? Hymen restoration?? Penis enlargement?? WTF? What has HAPPENED to this world? Again, hymen restoration? Good Lord!
Jennifer - I’ll have to look into ghost hunting. Thanks for the tip!
Pussreboots - It’s a very odd phenomena. I think you either catch the buzz or don’t. Who knows?
The Gal Herself - Glad I could be of service!
Nicholas - I’m fairly certain that Mrs. Nicholas is delighted that you still have - uh - a functional tendon, if you know what I mean.
Rileyberry - It might be the perfect gift to give S…. Yeah, maybe not.
No thanks to this. I’m just contented what the Almighty has given me.
Thanks for the visit.
ewww I’m gonna be sick!!!
To answer your question, I think they must make stilettos steel toe shoes, I got hush puppies cute ones. Ya know, not ugly shoes. We do know that you and I ony care about this…
BTW, I stopped by the lingeries this evening, bought something and thought of you!!!!
Damnit. My comment was swallowed. Round up the usual big-mouthed suspects.
This is a GREAT POST. Too funny and sadly, all too true.
I had to look up the Wilderstein person. She is beyond scary.
My guesses. I LOVE honey:
Noses:
1. Candice Bergen
2. Eva Longoria
3. Jennifer Love Hewitt
Lips:
A. Jessica Simpson
B. Pamela Anderson
C. Scarlett Johanssen
It must be some kind of sickness to become deliberately grotesque and not realize it. Have you seen Meg Ryan and Goldie Hawn lately?
Butt implants, huh. Hey, I might actually need those since I really don’t have a butt. LOL! Not that I’d get it done. Too scary!
I already know I’ll never do any of that to myself, but that list was gross!!
8-\
Happy TT13 though!!
What an impressively researched post. I am truly grossed out. Your TT series has been a lot of fun. People thinking of plastic surgery should be forced to read this post.
OMG! I was hoping the ass pic was photoshopped or something! That is insane!!!! And I was so sure it was Jessica…hmmm
WAIT! Is the third one… Liz Hurley??? I hate her.
LOL
People who have too much stuff done start to look like aliens. How is that supposed to be beautiful. I just don’t get it. Don’t they realize that they usually look worse than they did before they started out?
As for my guesses; I can’t figure out A. But B is Lisa Rinna and C is Liz Hurley.
I love me some honey, so I thought I’d give it another guess.
A. Lindsay Lohan
B. Jenny Jameson
C. Liz Hurley
Friday’s Child - Well, he gave us plastic surgeons too - so that leaves a lot of room for interpretation! lol!
No nonsense girl - Breathe, breathe - don’t throw up on the keyboard. Hurray for new panties!
(Meg Ryan looks like the Joker from Batman, poor thing.) Kelly got all the women.
Heart in SF - Since you love honey, here’s some hints - the first two noses are men. The last one is a woman. The first man is someone you know - and would remember. The last nose literally created an entire business for the doctor who created it in 1975(??). Go Heart! Go! You can do it!
Nicole Austin - Well, when you write your books you could do it with a five inch silicone pad. I can see the draw!
Frigga - It is gross. I think people should make their own choices, but they need to know that THIS can happen before they make the choice.
Squirrelly - Let’s make a plan on how we are going to force people tempted by plastic surgery to read this list.
Kelly - Happy Dance for you!! Now you can watch Beauty and the Geek and eat honey while you do!
Nila - Great guesses!! The first lips are your friend Britneys. I thought for sure you would guess her since we roll our eyes together at her. (You must be so pissed at what she’s doing with her babies.) Try the noses! I gave some hints to Hearts - here’s one more. The person with the first nose was in the Olympics.
I’m thinking Joyce Wilderstein just should have told the doctor to take her out back and beat her head with the biggest stick he could find, probably would have saved money too.
Ronald Reagan, Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers?
I also considered Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood for the first one, but don’t think they (or Reagan) had nose jobs.
Sigh.
honey, honey, honey, honey, HONEY, mmmmmmmmm.
FuriousBall - I actually think a big stick might be an improvement at this point.
Heart in SF - Yes it’s Michael Jackson in the middle…. The first is a sports hero. The last is an actress…..
I can hardly look at Jocelyn Wilderstein. I say NO to plastic surgery, period.
Creepy, but great list!
OMG…..those poor people…..
Peace
Jill - Well, it is Halloween.
Odat - Yeah. Too bad they can’t just operate on their soul. I would probably be more effective.
You have successfully turned me off of plastic surgery forever!
Christy - Glad I could be of service!
Wow, I didn’t even know some of these procedures existed. Youch. Eww. And maybe “Gross” for good measure.
MomHuebert - I’m tempted to say, “glad I could educate you” but I bet you could live a long time without seeing Coco’s butt implants - am I right?