Call me “Rev”.
“What are you saying?”
“What do you mean?” She said.
“You just said something that sounded like you want me to perform your wedding,” I said.
“I did?”
“Actually, that would be great,” her fiance said. “Would you mind?”
“Would I mind what?” I asked.
“What you said,” he replied.
“What did I say?” I asked.
I look across the half eaten basket of corn chips to see that she’s crying into her cheese enchiladas.
“I just never thought of it. It’s dumb, I know, but it never occurred to me.”
“What?” I asked.
“Well, you know,” she said.
And that’s how I became a Reverand.
I wasn’t called by God.
I didn’t wake up one day and decide that I would like to perform weddings.
I didn’t spend a lot of money on a costly theological education.
I didn’t even do it to get in good with my mother-in-law. (She actually likes her zipper challenged preacher son-in-law.)
Nope.
I had this conversation with a bride and a groom, then spent three minutes on-line at the Universal Life Church.
You can call me “Rev”.
I think it’s going to be fun.
Filed under: The nerdiverse







So they let anyone be a Rev these days. Hmm, I wonder if that’s good or bad. Have fun, Rev.
Nila - Pretty funny, eh?
Did you read the small print where it said that you have now agreed to be celibate for life, shave your head and live in the desert?
Squirrelly - Since I have a habit of shaving my head, that’s not such a problem…. Desert? Celiebacy? Do I look like freakin’ BroLo??
Do these people actually have any idea what they’re contemplating? With communication skills like theirs, it seems a bit fuzzy around the edges. Although Rev Claudia does have a nice ring to it.
Heart in SF - I think they were just unclear at that moment. But who knows? Maybe it was my destiny to represent the Universal Life Church in this way. Yeah - probably not.