A sick feeling in my stomach.
I grew up in this tiny town about forty minutes from Los Angeles. I was a restless kid. I was always ready to go. Hollywood? Great. Downtown? Sure. The beach? Absolutely.
I met this guy at some point. I’m not really sure when or where. It wasn’t that kind of friendship. I like him. He was funny, super cool and kept Tarantulas in a jar by his kitchen sink. He was the lead singer in a band.
Yes, he was older than me. But let’s face it. I’m not a baby boomer so EVERYONE is older than me.
This guy was gay. I mean really who cares right? It just never sat well with him. He started drinking heavily and eventually started doing drugs. I knew that he wasn’t doing well. He was depressed but then I was too. One day, he overdosed on heroin.
I wasn’t surprised. Our friends had numerous conversations about him and his downfall. He broke his front teeth falling off a stage. He got more and more self destructive. We stood on the sidelines and watched it happen. Then one day, he self destructed.
And even though it’s been over twenty years, I still miss him. I’ve played the “should have done something” game for years. He was an adult and he made a choice.
I felt that way about Anna Nicole Smith. She was clearly not doing well after her son died. And we all stood around and watched her self destruct. I wasn’t surprised when she died. It’s just very sad.
I feel that way about Britney Speers. I wonder when we’ll hear that she overdosed or was killed in a car crash. Yes, she’s an adult. Yes, she’s making choices. But don’t we kind of egg her on by giving attention, instead of help, to her mania. It’s also very sad.
It reminds me of the Counting Crows line: “when everyone loves me, I’ll never be lonely”. I wonder if we really loved Anna Nicole. Does anyone really love Britney?
What do you think?
Filed under: Thoughts on being human....
I seem to share the same feelings as you do Claudia…but the one I really feel sorry for is Anna Nicole’s baby…what kind of a life will that poor little child have and what is it that we could do to help……? I pray, but is that enough?
Bebe - It’s an awful feeling. Britney is the mother of two young boys. Where is there father? Is he so much of a loser that he can’t step up and help the mother of his children? It’s selfishness gone wild - at who’s cost?
I read this yesterday and it’s been in my mind since…
BS, like others before her has risen to fame on a wave of media attention that has inspired envy and spite in others. As a race we’re thrilled when someone makes it to the top because it carries the idea that we could rise too but we’re also jealous of her success.
Until we all refuse to buy the papers that carry images and stories of BS self destructing this hounding of the vulnerable will continue.
Have you ever noticed the people who slow down to look after a road accident?
Having said all that, I do feel so sorry for her, for all of them because they’re all pawns…
Angela
Angela - That is beautifully said. It reminds me of George Michaels: “It looks like the road to heaven but feels like the road to hell”. They are pawns who willing give themselves over to it, then become consumed.