On relationships.
I realized recently that some of my opinions about how relationships work come from songs from the 1980s. Anything, Anything by Dramarama is a good example.
Ok what is it tonight
Please just tell me what the hell is wrong
Do you wanna eat
Do you wanna sleep
Do you wanna shout
Just settle down, settle down, settle down
Well I’ll give you candy
Give you diamonds
Give you pills
I’ll give you anything you want
Hundred dollar bills
And I’ll even let you watch the shows you wanna see
Just marry me, marry me, marry me
These verses describe my college relationship. I gave him everything and he was unreasonable. I would follow him around saying, “what is wrong? just tell me what’s wrong?” And oddly enough, I wanted to marry him. Gratefully, I didn’t. He says that he realizes he had a “great relationship and he blew it”. Uh, duh?
I’m so sick of you tonight
You never stay awake when I get home
Is Something wrong with me
Something’s wrong with you
I really wish I knew, wish I knew, wish I knew
Well I’ll give you candy
Give you diamonds
Give you pills
I’ll give you anything you want
Hundred dollar bills
And I’ll even let you watch the shows you wanna see
because you married me, married me, married me
This is a good example of my parent’s marriage. My father gave my mother everything he thought she wanted (except what she wanted - emotional intimacy) and she was still psycho. They divorced leaving lasting damage to everyone around them. Thanks Dad. Thanks Mom.
When I was young I played a game
That love and happiness were the same
Now I’m older and I don’t play
And I found out the hardest way
I got wasted
She got mad
She called me names then she called her dad
He got crazy and I did too
Wond’ring what I did to you
Well I’ll give you candy,
Give you diamonds,
Give you pills,
I’ll give you anything you want
Hundred dollar bills
And I’ll even let you watch the shows you wanna see
I’ll do anything, anything, anything,
Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything…
My psychotherapy training explained these relationships. We learned that many men think that women are crazy. Whatever a woman does, they shrug their shoulders and figure at least she didn’t shoot them. Women then get their emotional needs met in other places while men watch football and drink beer. It works for some.
I guess I get cynical when it snows.
Filed under: Experts
I love that song. Cynicism and all.
It was fun reading the words and singing along. That’s one of those songs that I never really knew the words to, but loved and attempted to sing anyway. Now I know the words. Thanks.
I am no expert but perhaps you need a new song? My song is Billy Joel’s “And so it goes”. It may not suit you but if it does then replace “anything, anything” with it, please!
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I’ve held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
It’s just as well for all I’ve seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you’re the only one who knows
Squirelly - Ya, but Billy Joel cheated on Christy Brinkley - he’s kind of a dumb ass.
Nila - Ya, I love the song too - it’s lasting imprints though….
Agreed. Billy Joel is a dumb ass for cheating on Christy Brinkley but he writes good lyrics. How did he land her in the first place? Having landed her, why on earth would he cheat on her? Almost as great a mystery as the Bermuda Triangle.
Squirrelly - You’re the scientist man - you explain it.
this is my favorite “My psychotherapy training explained these relationships. We learned that many men think that women are crazy. Whatever a woman does, they shrug their shoulders and figure at least she didn’t shoot them. Women then get their emotional needs met in other places while men watch football and drink beer. It works for some”
i think jeremy is happy everyday that i haven’t shot him.
Judy - We’re all glad you haven’t shot him.
This morning during my 65 minute commute - there was nothing good on the radio so I turned it down and decided to sing myself. I started singing the first song that popped in my head - which incidentally was Anything, Anything. I haven’t heard the song in years actually - but there it was, I don’t always have control over what pops in my head during the morning commute. So when I got to work and turned on my music playlist I decided to add Anything, Anything to the list for my listening pleasure. But damned if I could remember the name of the band that did it! So I type in the title of the song in my Windows Live Search bar, and up came your blog… not only did I find out the name of the band and add it to my playlist - but I read your take on the song and relationships. I enjoyed it - and I also get cynical when it snows.
Kriffy - Glad to help! The psychics say that those songs speak to our inner thoughts, feelings OR (remember we’re talking psychics here) it’s a message from your guides. Frankly, I think it’s just smog - some combination of smoke and fog. Welcome and thanks for the comment.